


If I Had A Voice I Could Sing

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Broken Engagement, Childbirth, Developing Relationship, Difficult Decisions, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Introspection, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Conditions, Minor Injuries, Multi, Pregnancy Scares, Separations, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:50:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2624087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's nearly given up on ever finding his mate after he gets kicked to the curb and his engagement terminated by his Alpha. He's determined to carry on despite that and damn the consequences. </p>
<p>Xabi's confused about where his life is going now that he has presented as an Alpha and figures that Liverpool is the best place to lay low and figure things out. </p>
<p>Neither of them expected to find what they had been looking for in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And When I Wake Up, I Don't Know What Tomorrow Brings

Steve had hidden in his old room the minute that he could without seeming impolite so that he didn't have to see the sympathetic glances of his Alpha and his Dam after it was all said and done. He was clutching the letter tightly in his fist, knowing damn well what it meant after Carragher had confronted him at Anfield.

He chirruped thickly and cleared his throat when the memory of the confrontation that had just taken place half an hour or so ago. He wasn't going to fall apart over that. No matter how much it stung, he had promised himself he wasn't going to be a weak little Omega and give in to his emotions. Especially not when he had been dropped as if he was a dirty little secret.

Carragher hadn't even had the decency to take him out for coffee or get him to his car. No. He had simply waited until everyone was gone to pull Steve into an empty boardroom to drop his bomb.

“I don't think that we're going to be bonded, Gerrard.” He had started, without much preamble and making Stevie's eyes widen for a few moments.

“Wait, what?” Steve had spluttered before Carragher continued, his eyes distant as he recited the lines that Steve could now see where rehearsed for the situation to go smoother and faster and without much fuss from Steve. Just like an attack on the field, his engagement was broken off like an opponent that needed to be neutralized.

“It's...It's not that you're a bad Omega, lad. It's...” Carragher had trailed off, his eyes pleading mutely with Steve to understand.

“So what is it then? If I'm not a bad Omega? We had everything set up, Jamie-”

“Don't call me Jamie.” Carragher cut him off roughly, the force of the command making Steve step back. He swallowed hard and looked away.

“Allright, Carragher, Allright. So what's different now? What made our agreement null and void?”

Carragher sighed heavily before he answered.

“You're not my truemate. I was settling for you, that's all.” Carragher hisses at him, the words dripping anger and contempt as they are spoken harshly, making Steve flinch at their venom.

“So now you've found them, yeah? And I'm just left behind on the shelf. Is that how it's going to be, then?” Steve asked, despite the knot of pain twisting in his chest at the viciousness of the words he had just heard.

Carragher took a deep breath and had the grace to look ashamed for a split second before shaking his head.

“It's done. I've got my mate and we're nothing else but teammates. The letter should be coming soon.”

He gave Steve a perfunctory nod before he left Anfield and Steve standing there, watching him go.

Carragher didn't even look back once and Steve refused to let his knees buckle and for his legs to crumple underneath him. He did lean against the wall though and refused to let his grief show on his face. Instead, he gathered up his gear and jacket and went back to the row house he had been raised in. Maybe he was being a coward by going home. Maybe he was lying to himself in needing to lick his wounds. He wasn't sure. It was possibly denial, or a mixture of everything at once.

Either way, Steve didn't question it. He just headed home and wordlessly took the letter that was lying on the counter with his name stamped on it in official looking letters.

His dam looked at him with sad eyes and his Alpha just clapped a hand on his shoulder before muttering a platitude about there being another one waiting for him sooner, rather than later.

Steve choked on the small rush of anger at their pity and sympathetic gestures.

He didn't feel like he merited pity or sympathy at that point. Steve felt that he rather merited scorn or disappointment. Especially when his Alpha had tried so damned hard to get him bonded only for it to be dissolved less than a year later. He had taken the letter that signalled his most recent failure to procure a mate and went to his room after accepting a cup of tea from his dam.

Once he was there, he flung his jacket on his bed before flopping down into his chair and unfolding the letter.

It still stings as painfully as it did the first three times that he read the injunction contained within.

Steve sighed as he refolded the letter and put it on the far edge of his desk. He rubbed his eyes wearily, but didn't give into the emotion pressing down in his chest. He was too old to be feeling so bereft over a rejection. He knew that it was coming, what with the demand of the return of the dowry and Jamie's abrupt conversation the last time that they had seen each other.

He had known and he still hadn't been ready for it to happen. He wasn't quite ready to let go. At least not until the letter had arrived, letting him know that the bonding engagement between himself and James Carragher was legally dissolved and he was again inching closer to being put on the breeding list. Although there was still a loophole and a sliver of time before he had to report to the Omega Offices and breed out a couple kits from government chosen Alphas.

There was no shame in it, as his Alpha had told him, over and over again when the years were passing by and there was no real Alpha candidates coming forward. His uncle had been to the Omega offices and had had two healthy kits and a healthy stipend from the government to raise them. They were right. There was no real shame in it. Other than living with the knowledge that no Alpha had willingly picked them through no fault of their own.

It was still a galling thought to realize that he was going to be left on the shelf for absolutely no good reason before he did end up living with an Alpha that the state felt was the best compatible mate for seven months until he gave birth. He could opt out of breeding, but he knew that wasn't for him. He had always wanted kits and time was running out not just for him to have them, but to finish his career out. He hadn't had a stellar season and he could hear the whispers and the commentaries start to pile up.

If Jamie hadn't pulled out of the agreement, he could have had a kit and gracefully pulled out of the season and the team. But now that he was left hanging, he was either going to have to push harder than he had before and risk injury. Or he could try and find an Alpha before his heat broke and hope for the best.

He sat and his desk, his hand covering his mouth as he forced his emotions under a semblance of some control.

He had made his decision. He needed to stick to it now that it had been decided on. It wasn't the best choice, but it was what he'd have to follow.

Having made his decision, he reached over and grabbed the letter and shoved it into the half-open drawer at the bottom of his desk. Carragher was no longer part of his life. There was no point in keeping that reminder on his desk any longer. There was no point in keeping him in his life.

Steve shoved the drawer closed and left his room. He needed to be anywhere else but there.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Xabi found himself shivering from both the cold and a frisson of excitement as he hastily walked through the streets of Liverpool on his way to the local Tesco. He had refused the offer of a ride in an effort to learn the streets and also to assert his independence, even if it was in a small way as that. Besides, he really needed something other than trifles if he was going to survive the first night at his new flat without resorting to calling up Fernando and putting himself at his teammate's good graces. Something that he wasn't planning on doing until it was completely and absolutely necessary.

But right now, it wasn't as of yet. He had a wallet with a temp debit card and several twenty pound notes stuffed in his pocket in case it didn't work. He also thanked his family's foresight in allowing him to go to Ireland when he was a teenager. His English, although a bit rusty, was passable. He would be fine.

He hummed a bit to himself as he made his way through the streets, his light colouring and nondescript clothing making him blend in easier than he thought possible. No one really noticed him as he kept on moving, not even the ones that were wearing Liverpool gear and he breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't ready to face the English fans as of yet.

He also wasn't ready to talk to anyone else other than the teammate and stay on the safe topic of football, if he was honest. He still was unsure that he had done the right thing in putting things on hold with Nagore. She had wanted to name what they had between them, put a stamp on it and give each other obligations that he didn't feel he could fulfil like he had thought in the past.

Not when he had finally presented in the most incompatible gender possible to Nagore's own.

Xabi winced and chewed on his lip again when he remembered how excited she had been at letting him know she had finally presented as an Alpha. Both of them had been considered late bloomers, what with their neutral genders despite the rest of their circle of friends and family already presented or already mated and having kits all over the place. So it was a huge surprise that she had presented and as an Alpha, nonetheless.

So it was just assumed that he would be presenting as either a Beta or an Omega and be compatible with Nagore and settle down like everyone else. Maybe if he had stayed close to her, he would have. It had happened to at least two bonded couples that they had grown up with. That had cemented the idea of predestined pairs that they had all grown up with. Stories that Xabi privately had thought ridiculous and that Nagore often discussed and dissected to figure out if there was something to them.

Xabi's stomach clenched at the memory of presenting at the end of the game and the abject horror that swept over him as his temperature soared and the scent of cloves and cinnamon filled the air of the shower room. He had panicked and frozen into place, letting the hot water wash over him as his mind reeled with the implications that his presentation brought. It wasn't until the water had turned icy that he had enough control of himself to get dressed and stumble home to lock himself in his flat and ignore all calls until it was over and done with.

That had also been the day that he had been contacted by his agent that Liverpool was calling.

He had accepted and not looked back.

Xabi shuddered and sped up as a cold wind blew through the streets. He was at a stalemate at that point with his family and with Nagore. They kept pressing for answers that he couldn't vocalize when he couldn't even really understand what he wanted or what he should be doing. Or who he should be with.

The one thing he did know for certain was that remaining in Spain wasn't going to help him figure out anything at all. England was cold, foreign and not at all like his hometown, but it offered more freedom than the Basque town and its customs that he was finding much more stifling than a source of pride. He was willing to exchange the comforts for freedom and the chance to battle for bigger titles and bigger glory. He was, after all, a scion of the Alonso clan. It was a given that he would be out there carving his own niche into the sport as well.

His mood brightened considerably at the thought of winning trophies and having his name out there as a player, warming him up enough that the first cold drops of rain shocked him. Frowning, he looked up and swore. Of all things he had counted himself prepared for, the sudden downpour that caught him on the halfway mark there wasn't that.

Wincing at the coldness of the water, he decided to sprint the last few blocks to Tescos and breathed a sigh of relief once he entered the neon-lit, warm shelter of the supermarket. He shivered slightly and moved out of the way once he heard the door swoosh open as to not be in the way and grabbed a basket. He would come back later to stock up if they had all the goods that he liked to have in his pantry. But for now, he needed to get a quick fix and hopefully get a cab home if the rain didn't let up.

Humming happily, he picked up the basket and went on his way.

~*~*~*~*

Steve pulled into the Tesco and swore quietly. The last place that he wanted to be that night was the bloody Tesco. But his dam had asked for him to pick up some staples and he very well couldn't be mulish and say no. Especially not when he was the main reason as to why she needed more tea, milk and a few other things. It was a pattern that had been established early on when he had first decided to move out: He was welcome to stay as long as he needed the protection of his childhood home, but he had to contribute as long as he was there.

So even though he was feeling shell-shocked and slightly miserable despite a couple of pints in his favourite pub, he was still going to go to Tesco. Life had no choice but to go on. He had seen it before, after the horrible year when-

“Enough of that.” He growled to himself as he parked his car and ran through the rain pelting down the tarmac, filling the air with the scent of coldness and water. A scent that was wiped away the moment that he stepped into the Tesco and his senses were overwhelmed by the mixed scents of cleaning products, bread, fruits and spices. Notably cinnamon and cloves. Something that shouldn't even have been there, since they weren't even close to the Christmas season.

He frowned, but shook it off as he went in search of the groceries. Maybe they were trying something new or something. Nothing to worry about.

Except that he couldn't stop flushing whenever it got stronger, then fainter until it was gone altogether by the time he was at the cash register getting ready to pay.

And he couldn't stop thinking about it long after he was in bed and trying to find the elusive sleep that was escaping him.

It was still on the back on his mind when he went in for the big press conference for the two new players that Liverpool had signed. They didn't necessarily have to be there, as the old guard. But he felt that it would be a nice gesture to welcome the lads and maybe get a feel for them and maybe even take them out as a goodwill gesture. He knew, with Pepe and Nando, that it had eased their transition into the team to be there, so he figured that he might as well repeat the gesture with the new players.

He was walking into the player area, tea in one hand and his mind still working on being fully awake when he was nudged by someone smelling strongly of citrus.

“Rough night?” Nando asked, his words soft and empathetic, making Steve wonder if word had already gone through the team of Carragher's dropping him like a bad habit.

He smiled ruefully and took a sip of the tea before nodding, making Nando clap a hand on his shoulder in solidarity.

“I'm sorry, that's a shit thing to go through.” Nando murmured and Steve shrugged. It did still hurt something awful still, but after the initial shock and agony had worn off, he had made up his mind to suck it up and keep on going. It had worked in the past, so he figured that was the best course of action to take. Even if he didn't really know for sure that it was going to be okay in the end.

“What can you do in the end? It's not like I can keep someone around if they choose to go and I'm not their truemate. It's life.”

Nando's eyes darkened, but all he did was nod and clap Steve's shoulder again. He looked like he wanted to say more when they heard the announcement that the conference would start in ten and to take their seats. Shaking his head, he gave Steve a crooked smile before they went to look for their seats, which were assigned by their jersey numbers. Steve breathed a sigh of relief and sat down, careful to not spill his tea as he settled in and waited for the two players to arrive.

“Do you know them?” He murmured to Fernando as his teammate put his jacket on the back of his chair.

“Not really. We know of each other, but we're not from the same area. One is Basque and the other is from Barcelona.” Here, he wrinkled his nose, making Steve snort in amusement at Nando's reaction.

Steve figured he would feel the same way if he was asked the same question about a Manc or an Everton player. Nando made another face and Steve snickered before he lifted his cup to take another sip of the tea when the tantalizing scent from Tesco's hit him.

His head jerked up and he felt the urge to purr in response at the thickness and strength of it, which was headier than before as it diffused through the room. He looked around, much to Nando's amusement.

“Does it smell like cloves and cinnamon to you?” He whispered as he tried to find the source of that heavenly scent that was making him lose his reason the longer that he kept on looking for it.

Nando shot him a weird look and shook his head, shrugging it off since the press conference was about to start, if the flashes and excited babble were anything to go by. He saw Alonso and Garcia following Rafa, pausing only to smile at the crowd and give them photo-ops before they took their seats in order to open the conference, answer a few questions and banter with the crowd before they left. 

That was what Nando was expecting to happen.

Except that at the last moment, Alonso came to an abrupt stop and blinked before being prodded to move on. Alonso was restless and he kept on sniffing the air and looking around as if something or someone in the room had caught his attention. Something that was quite important and kept distracting him, despite the polished answers he and Garcia had prepared for the media.

The distraction and the hunting, for a lack of a better word had Nando on edge. He knew that look, that set of mannerisms. Alonso was on the hunt and-

Nando's eyes widened and it all clicked. Of course. Even though there were possibly a few Betas and a few Omegas scattered in the crowd, they were no doubt bonded. The only Omega he knew was vulnerable, more or less was Steve. Steve, who had probably scented out the signals already. Knowing the potential for a messy claiming was all too close to hand, he grabbed Steve by the arm and winced when he saw his friend's pole-axed expression and the cup of tea fall from his hand. 

His eyes had turned bright amber and he was swallowing hard, a habit that Sergio tended to display whenever he didn't want to purr or chirrup out loud. It was dead obvious that Steve was reacting to Alonso and vice versa. 

“Steve...Listen. I'm going to get you out of here, okay? I think that you being in the room with Alonso is probably not a good idea. Especially not at this moment with you recently being unbonded. I'm going to get you out, okay?”

Steve's jaw clenched, but he nodded. 

“Yeah...That might be for the best. Would explain why I got his scent hitting me like a hammer to the face there. It might be too late if we stay.”

Nando winced in sympathy and turned his head away once he grabbed Steve's arm. Now that it was pointed out to him, he could clearly pick out the christmasy scent of Alonso, overlaid with Steve's own scent of fresh baked cookies and apples, a scent that he was sure hadn't been there before Alonso came into the room. 

Nando bit his lip as he fought his way through the crowd that had risen, signalling that the conference was over. He knew that time was of essence at the moment and he needed to get Steve out before anything happened. He didn't want for Steve to be in a position where he had made a bond without a clear head and be stuck with unfavourable consequences he'd be stuck with for the rest of his life. 

Steeling himself, he pulled Steve towards the exit and was just about to make the getaway when he heard a low growl. 

That was all the registered before he was shoved out of the way as Alonso grabbed Steve and ran out of the room without so much as by your leave, leaving Nando blinking and swearing quietly to himself.

 


	2. I Want More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xabi and Steve mate and discover that they are truemates/almas and Carragher gets some news that he was not expecting and turn his world upside down.

_Chapter 2-I Want More._

Xabi lay on his side, watching as his Omega ( _Steve)_ as he slept the fitful sleep of an Omega on the verge of a heat. It was all too clear that Steve was on the verge of a full-blown heat. At the thought of being able to truly mate and claim his _alma,_ a smile broke out on his face. It was only a matter of time now.

He should have been horrified with what he had just done, grabbing an Omega that was certainly a teammate and taking them to his house to hole up for the heat that he could feel pulsing underneath that pale skin and too wide brown eyes that were as dark and soft as the late hours of night or the too early hours of dawn. The hours that were usually dangerous and could lead to the kinds of decisions that he was making right then and there, with an Omega waking up and looking at him in shock as he lay in the anonymous bed of his flat, his face flushing and his scent getting stronger as it got closer and closer.

“Aw hell. It's...It's not supposed to come so soon.”

Steve muttered, his eyes closing as he let his head fall back and expose his throat, which was flushed like the rest of him. He had given up any pretence the moment that he had stumbled into the flat, the only thing keeping him on his feet being Xabi's arm around his waist.

He grimaced and shifted, wincing at the hot roughness of the sheets against his bare skin. His clothing was gone, having been discarded in a sticky pile that Xabi had thoughtfully pushed into a hamper. Steve wasn't going to need them for awhile at least and when he did, Xabi would have them cleaned.

Steve groaned softly, his forehead furrowing even further as he shoved at the bedclothes to push them down, showing Xabi everything that he would be burying himself into as soon as Steve gave the word.

He was within his right to start the mating, to pin Steve down and force the bite on him before enterinng him and sealing the deal. But he knew that if he did, he´d never be able to live with himself. Nor would he be able to look at any kit that they produced without the guilt of knowing that he had forced their dam and created them. He had committed a hell of a lot of sins in his life and he was sure as hell not going to add rape to that.

Even if it was biologically and state sanctioned.

So he bit his lip, wincing at the new sharpness of his canines as they pierced the thin skin of his lips and occassionally palmed himself through his boxers as he rode out the first waves of the heat. He was doing just that when Steve opened his eyes again and his hand clamped around Xabi´s wrist in a deadlocked grip that even if he had wanted to break, Xabi wouldn´t have been able to do so.

¨What the hell are you waiting for?” Steve growled, his eyes a clear and lucid amber as he spoke. “You gonna claim me or what?”

Xabi laughed, a low and dangerous sound that made Steve close his eyes halfway and his grip slacken before Xabi broke out of his grip and pinned his hands over his head while rolling over him in one unbroken, fluid move.

“For you to ask.” Xabi whispered into Steve's ear, making the Omega shiver at the low sound of Xabi's voice in his ear. It was low and seductive, with just a hint of an accent in it. It was miles away from Carragher's voice when he had deigned to touch him. Although it had made him warm, it didn't affect him as deeply as Xabi's voice was now doing. He groaned at the proximity, spreading his legs wantonly as the slick painted his thighs and puddled underneath him.

“Do it then.”

It was low and soft and if he hadn't been straining for it, Xabi would have missed it completely.

He didn't reply to Steve's breathy consent in words. Xabi kissed the spot right below Steve's earlobe, making him turn his head and expose his throat to Xabi.

The warm, sweet scent was the strongest there and Xabi's brain blanked out at that exact moment. His canines throbbed in his mouth as he licked the sweetly scented skin under his mouth. He could feel the throb of Steve's pulse as it sped up in anticipation. The gland itself was there, waiting and Xabi ghosted his mouth over it briefly with the last of his control before he bit down hard.

Steve howled when Xabi's fangs pierced the skin and the hormones flooded his body a second later, relaxing him and putting him in a soft haze that made it easy to be pliant under Xabi's frantic administrations.

Despite being on edge, Xabi wasn't harsh or rough as he pushed Steve's legs open and towards his chest. His hand slipped on the wetness of Steve's thighs as he touched the hidden folds of skin that were open and ready for him to enter. He brushed it carefully with the pad of his finger, a barely remembered fumbling with a classmate being the impetus for the gesture. But it worked, making Steve make that low keening sound deep in the back of his throat and his hips jerk forward in want and need.

He made another sound, this one ragged and harsh as Xabi wasted no more time in giving Steve what he needed. Xabi touched him again before he lined up his cock and slowly pushed in, going inch by inch until he was fully enveloped into that velvety channel. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Steve's and inhaled their mingled scents to slow his hammering heart.

It felt better than it ever had with Nagore and he was so close to coming. He knew that if he didn't pause to get used to the slippery tightness, he'd spill too fast and not make it enjoyable for either of them. He took a couple of deep breaths before he continued, pulling out as slowly as he had entered until he was nearly out of the way before slipping back in. His hand found its way to Steve's dick and he stroked it a few times, experimenting with his grip and speed until he had Steve's guttural yowling filling his ears as he moved inside him. His rhythm choppy, but not frantic as he rolled his hips and thrust forcefully.

His canines cut into his lip as he thrust and the desire to claim rose up again like a flame in him. At the next thrust, he mouthed down to Steve's jawline, down to the juncture between neck and shoulder and bit down hard through the brief healing that had taken place. Steve positively howled then. High pitched and primal and the sound drilled itself into his hindbrain, pushing him to go faster and harder. It was sloppy and messy and brutal. His hand moved fast and Steve's shout and the hot wetness that painted their chests after a few minutes was enough for Xabi to go over the edge, thrusting harder and harder until his own vision fussed out into white and his ears buzzed with silence.

Xabi felt his body simply crumple and collapse and he landed heavily on top of Steve, who grunted at having to bear Xabi's full weight. He knew that it wasn't something he could continue doing for a long time. He was dense with muscle even if he didn't show it and he wasn't keen on smothering his Omega before the heat and mating process was over. But he let himself lie there for a bit, listening to the slowing thump of Steve's heartbeat and inhaling the sweetness of his scent, which had grown to remind Xabi of the Christmas season and home all at once.

“Get off, you're crushing me.” Steve's hoarse voice broke his reverie.

“Sorry. Sorry. You smell good.” Xabi apologized, his English suffering a bit as he pushed himself off of Steve, his face flushed again. But this time, in mortification at having nearly left Steve breathless after their mating.

“It's okay. You do too. Like Christmas cake baking at home or something.” Steve slurred as Xabi shifted and pulled so that both were lying in a more comfortable position to fall asleep in. He didn't know if it was an old wives' tale or something, but he wasn't going to diminish the chances of a successful mating. So he stayed and pulled Steve close, licking at the claiming bite until the blood was gone and he could see the bright pink of tissue healing.

He smiled to himself when he saw that and rested his chin on top of Steve's head.

“ _Huh. So this is what home feels like.”_ Was his last conscious thought before his eyes also shut and he drifted off to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

Steve woke up to someone quietly having a conversation in a language that he had never heard before at the edge of his consciousness. Frowning, he scrubbed the last bits of sleep from his face and reached for his mobile. His hand touched nothing but an empty surface, making him finally sit up and look at the nightstand. That was certainly _not_ his.

He looked around the somewhat Spartan room, messy from the pile of laundry in a corner and permeated with the scent of sweet baking. The perfect blend of sweetness and spice made him recall the press conference and Alonso turning out to be his Alpha and basicaly absconding with him and-

Steve reached up to his neck and winced when his fingers brushed across the nearly healed scar tissue there. It was still pretty sensitive to touch, but it was done. He had been claimed and if the way their scents synchronized were anything to go by, unlike the discordance of his and Jamie's scents.

Steve bit his lip, wincing at the pain and erasing any lingering thoughts of Jamie away. The sight of a clean Xabi with two mugs of steaming tea in his hands did the rest.

“Yorkshire okay? I bought a box cause they were on sale at Tesco the other day, so...yeah.”

Xabi trailed off as he handed Steve one of the mugs, which Steve accepted gratefully.

“Ta very much. I appreciate it.” Steve replied once he had taken a couple of healthy swallows from the cup before setting it down on the nightstand. Xabi, by this time, had done the same and had sat on the edge of the bed, his cup cradled in his hands as he waited for what was to come next.

Steve cleared his throat and swung his feet over the side of the bed and winced at the overall soreness that simple movement caused in him. He knew, logically, that it was to be expected after an entire week of no holds barred, bruising and occasionally punishing sex. But it was still a nuisance to sit up and feel worse than the most difficult run on the pitch he'd ever faced.

At the thought of the pitch and runs, his eyes widened.

“Does management know about-”

Xabi nodded and took another sip of his tea before replying.

“Called them when you were asleep the first night. They called your Alpha and dam too. They don't want us back until two more days have passed just to make sure that the bond has settled and your stuff has been moved in here.”

Steve blinked at that and he found his face heating up as he realized that he was finally mated and bonded and that meant he was going to be living here with his Alpha. This was his home now and hopefully in seven months, the nest for whatever kit they would produce. He knew that there was no way that he wasn't breeding after that week long session. And not when he knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, Xabi was his truemate.

“Right. I had forgotten about that. To be quite honest, I wasn't expecting to ever find myself in this situation.” Steve explained, standing up with only slight wincing as he pulled the stained sheet around his hips, despite knowing that it was pointless. After all, Xabi had seen everything and then some the past week. But it made him feel like he had a shield while he dealt with his life being turned upside down again, when it felt like it had just gone to hell not even a few days ago.

Xabi raised an eyebrow and drank more of his tea as he watched Steve pick up his forgotten cup and do the same.

“Oh? Why?”

Steve finished off a quarter of his rapidly cooling tea before he explained.

“It took a long time to find an Alpha. I mean, a _really_ long time. To the point that my Alpha and Dam were encouraging me to have kits with a state Alpha. But then Carragher came along and he asked to mate with me and things seemed to have worked out. I was getting an Alpha, he was getting an Omega and kits. A win win situation. It should have been, at least.”

Xabi's eyes narrowed and he put the mug down on the edge of his dresser.

“He broke off the bond?”

Steve nodded, wincing just a bit, despite the pain being more or less scabbed over now that Xabi had claimed him. It didn't hurt that much, really. It was just the trauma of the separation, which was more or less a ghost at that time.

No. It was the humiliation of admitting that he was that much of a crap Omega that an Alpha would simply just walk away and not honour a standing promise. Even though it was not his fault, it still felt like he was such a failure at his designated gender. And no matter how much he talked himself up, the emotion remained, lurking in the back of his mind and waiting to pounce on him whenever he was in the darkest hours and darkest depths of his soul.

“The day before you came, actually. He told me he had found his truemate. What else was I going to do?” He shrugged, but the faint flush that spread across his cheeks gave his true emotions away, making Xabi's own heart clench in sympathy and a desire to ease the old hurt and erase them from Steve.

“Anyways, it doesn't matter. We've mated. Our scents match up and we're truemates. It would be scant odds if we haven't conceived after this week.”

Steve continued, his mouth curling up just a bit on the left side, even though the rest of his face was as neutral as he could possibly make it. 

Xabi looked as if he had been struck at the information that Steve was throwing at him, the one bit that was puzzling him the most being the “truemate” label. Xabi could only assume that it was the English equivalent of “ _alma”_ and judging by Steve's somewhat miffed expression, Steve hadn't _ever_ expected to find his own better half. In fact, he had resigned himself to being bred by some nameless and assigned Alpha just so that he could have kits rather than thwart that part of himself.

It was a daunting future to face and Xabi could understand now the utter relief and gratefulness that had been in Steve's eyes when he took him.

Xabi had been his second chance at everything he had thought gone.

“Gotcha. I think you are, but I've gotten so used to your scent, I can't tell. Maybe after you get a shower, I'll check again and get a test after we do all that paperwork to make sure.”

Steve frowned, but didn't argue, despite feeling the urge to do so. Not when Xabi was right about being inured to it. Especially after looking at the stains on the sheet he was using to cover himself, he knew that they had more or less scented each other well enough for it to have permanently gotten under their skin. Hopefully once he got clean, Xabi would be able to tell if that was the case, even though he couldn't shake the heavy weight of certainty that they had created a kit. He hadn't ever had that surety before, only relief that another useless heat was over and done with. But he also knew that it was only fair to check and cover all of the bases.

“Sure. But I don't have any clean clothes here. We're going to need to stop at my place.”

Xabi nodded. “No problem. Bath's that way. I'll meet you downstairs in twenty, sound good?”

“Works. See you in a bit then.”

~*~*~*~*~

“So when are we expecting them back?”

Jamie's ears pricked up at the question. It was painfully obvious as to who they were referring to. Alonso and Ste-Gerrard's absence was all too conspicuous in Anfield and the rumours of them being truemates were flying fast and thick all over the place. Sami and Rafa had done their best to address the situation without giving too much away, but rumours would always spread and until those two came back and confirmed or denied the reports, there was an air of uncertainty about the situation that simply wasn't going away the longer that they were missing.

“In a couple of days. Give them a breather, for heaven's sake! They just got bonded.”

Jamie's hands got cold when he heard that and his hearing disappeared for what felt like an eternity, but was only a few moments as it hit him: Steve was bonded. Steve had found a truemate.

And even though it shouldn't have even mattered, it gutted him.

Steve had a truemate.

And all he had was a false alarm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xabi and Steve-They're sort of awkward and a bit sketchy with each other because they know barely that much about each other. They're strangers and they have been brought together by biological imperatives. But they try to accomodate each other. But they aren't going to be comfortable with each other for awhile yet. 
> 
> State-Sanctioned Alphas-Omegas in England are more open about this option and that floors Xabi. He will ask about it eventually, since he's not heard of it. It is another option for Omegas, yet it is also a calculated way for the state to keep tabs on them also. 
> 
> Any typos and errors will be corrected if they appear. Song title is from "If I Had a Heart" By Fever Ray. 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments and your patience. All are appreciated.


	3. And It Never Ends Cause I Want More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nando and Carragher have a conversation where Nando tries his best to give good advice. Meanwhile Xabi and Steve do domestics and take care of the legalities.
> 
> And then two worlds collide right after.

Nando sat at the table, coffee long finished and with his arms crossed as he stared at Jamie, who was looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there at that exact moment.

“You left him, Jamie. Just to get this straight and not to confuse anything further. You left him.”

Nando stated as bluntly as possible, even though it made Jamie wince as he pointed out the obvious.

“That means you gave up any claims that you had to him. Especially now that he's been bonded with his Alma. You gambled and lost and I hope fucking her was worth it.”

Jamie winced even more and tried to hide his reaction behind the tea mug he lifted to his lips.

Nando looked away and rubbed his eyes roughly with his knuckles. He was dead tired from dealing with the drama in his own life and the drama that Xabi unwittingly had brought into his life. Although it meant giving up a few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep and time away from his little girl, he couldn't place the blame on his countryman. Xabi had only come to England to play. As far as Nando knew, Xabi was a beta, with a beta girl waiting for him in his Basque hometown until he made his mark so that they could get married.

The claiming of Stevie as his Omega had surprised Nando to no end, but he wasn't displeased. Not when he had seen the glimpses of the loneliness that plagued his teammate. Even though he kept it hidden, Nando could see it coming out whenever there were kits around or formal events when he was usually alone while everyone had someone. He had read rumours of when Stevie was a kid about why he was alone, but he never dared pry. He wasn't callous and even though he had wanted to be a friend to Stevie, he didn't want to overstep his boundaries. Not when Stevie was so closed off and private about his perceived inadequacies.

“Don't hold back, Nando. Seriously, tell me how you really feel about this all.” Jamie muttered the moment that he had himself under enough control as to not snarl back.

Nando snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he sat back and studied the shaken Jamie critically. Although he could count on him in the field, Nando was seriously doubting counting on him on anything else off of it. Whatever his reasons, he had hurt Stevie badly and without so much as a by your leave when he was sure that he could get something better. Now that it had blown up in his face, Nando had no pity or sympathy for him. As far as he was concerned, Jamie had fucked up and fucked up big time and there was no going back. Ever.

Nando shrugged and chewed on his lip.

“What else do you want me to say about this? He's not yours any longer. Even if you hadn't legally repudiated him, he couldn't go back to you. Not with the bond cemented in place. You weren't there when Xabi zoomed in on Stevie. They are meant to be and if you give just a bit of a damn about Stevie, you're going to step back, smile and wish him all the best in the world when you see him again.”

Nando's eyes flashed gold briefly to emphasize his point before he stood up.

“I'm sorry Jamie, but this is something that no one can help you with. The only thing you can do at this point is to just cut your losses and walk away. Stevie's got the right Alpha after being alone so long. Try to not make him miserable now that he's got a chance to be happy.”

He shook his head and stood up from the table before putting down a five pound note on the table and grabbing his coat from the back of the chair where it had rested during the time that he and Jamie spoke.

“That's all I can offer at this point, Jamie. I've got enough troubles of my own and I'm not about to shit on my friend for the sake of soothing your ego. Have a good one.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turned around and left Jamie sitting there silently, with the mug of tea still in his hand and his expression barely contained from cracking.

He should have felt bad at how he left, but he frankly didn't have any more patience left to deal with another stupid Alpha.

He had his hands full with his own stupidity.

~*~*~*~*~

Xabi drummed his fingers on his thigh as he watched the streets of Liverpool pass by as Steve drove to the registry office once they had gotten themselves put to together after a week of heat and arranging for Stevie to move into Xabi's place. It wasn't quite what he was used to, but he had to admit that it had a rough charm to it. Even if it was a bit colder and a bit rougher than he was used to.

“It's not that far, the registry office. And it's Tuesday, so it's not going to take us that long to get the bond paperwork registered.”

Steve blurted out, making Xabi blink and tear his attention away from the scenery and focus his attention onto his Omega, who was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while biting his lip. Nervousness was roiling off of him in waves and it drove Xabi to reach out and pat Stevie on the shoulder. He let his fingers brush against the bite to see if it would calm Stevie down and get him to relax. He knew that he was part of the reason why Stevie was so on edge was due to being in close proximity to him.

Stevie sighed briefly and his eyes fluttered, making Xabi worry that he had pushed it too far and made Stevie get too relaxed. The worry was driven away when the atmosphere in the car calmed down and the rest of the ride went by smoothly. Even parking was a breeze and it was only when they were filling out the paperwork that Stevie got agitated again, hesitating when it was his turn to fill out the reddish toned section of the bonding forms.

“You okay with this?”

Xabi frowned and shook his head, reaching out to squeeze Stevie's hand to reassure him.

“I wouldn't have followed you here otherwise. I'm not going to let you go. Not now, not ever. You don't have to worry about bond breaking with me. I'm not here for the thrill. I'm here till the end.”

It's not that much. Less than anything that Jamie had given him in the past, but it is enough to galvanize him to write down all the required information and pass the completed form over to Xabi, who has to endorse it in front of the clerk by law.

They go up to the first available wicket and the clerk, a young and pretty beta, smiled cheerfully at them as she processed the form and watched as Xabi signed his name at the end.

“Here you go! And congratulations!”

She gave them their originals in a red and green striped folder that Xabi took with a warm smile and tucked under his arm before he took a hold of Stevie's hand and led him outside.

“Do you want to get something to eat? It would be a shame to just go back home and clean the flat. We can always do that later. Besides, it's not like I really know what's good over here.”

Xabi explained, his mouth curling up in a smile that made Stevie flush as he looked around the street before he pointed to a small and nearly hidden Indian eatery.

“They're known for a decent curry. Want to head over?”

Xabi smiled, pulling him close and pressing an impulsive kiss on Stevie's mouth.

Stevie flushed a darker pink, but nodded enthusiastically as Xabi winked and pulled him along.

~*~*~*~*~

Stevie was sifting through his file folders, looking for the last contract that he had signed in order to combine it and Xabi's own when they went back to Anfield when he heard the doorbell ring.

He stood up from his chair to answer, but was stopped by a slight wave of dizziness and by Xabi sprinting by him and thus making it a moot point.

“I got it! It's all good!”Xabi yelled over his shoulder, making Stevie laugh and shake his head as he sat down again and continued to look through the assorted paperwork when he heard another familiar voice in the hall.

He put the folder away just in time to see a blushing Nando come into the kitchen holding a bottle of some fancy looking Spanish wine as well as a bag full of Chinese takeaway. Takeaway from the place that he had fed Nando from the first night that he had touched down in Liverpool. It made Stevie get a bit nostalgic about the situation. At least that was what he told himself when the tears pricked at his eyes as he walked over to Nando and embraced him impulsively.

“So good to see you!”He greeted him before he was gently, but ruthlessly pried away by a blank-faced Xabi, who was even now getting in front of Stevie and looking at Nando sharply. It wasn't quite a glare, but it was enough of a warning for Nando to back away and busy himself with the takeaway instead.

Xabi spoke to him then. A sharp, staccato sound that Stevie flinched and stepped away from, but one that Nando only shook his head at and replied with almost too quiet answers that diffused the situation and made Xabi's face go beet red right after.

“I'm sorry about that. I didn't know. I was just following instincts.”Xabi apologized right after, clapping Nando on the shoulder while Nando shook his head.

"There's nothing to apologize for. It's not something that everyone's aware of. Nor do I want them to be until I figure something permanent out with Sese."

Xabi winced and instead left him to it before he turned to Stevie and pulled him close.

“I'll explain in a bit.”Xabi whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear before he turned back to Nando, who was already unpacking the takeaway in what space he could find among the file folders cluttering the surface.

"Oh hell! Let me clear that up so that you can have more room there. Sorry, I was looking for my contract, since it has to be updated now that Xabi and are bonded."

Steve explained as he popped the scattered folders back onto their holder and wiped the table down, missing the bright smile that broke out on Nando's face.

“That's great to hear! I'm happy for you both.”He didn't attempt to embrace Stevie, but did instead punch Xabi in the shoulder and mock growled at him.

“Treat him like gold, Xabi, you've got a treasure there.”Nando whispered in Spanish, making Stevie scrunch his face into a frown before he shook his head and and easily slipped out of Xabi's loose grip. He moved over to the cupboards where they had haphazardly stored during the moving in process and pulled out a mismatched collection of glasses for the wine.

“I know that. I'm not going to give him up without a fight, that's for certain.”Xabi asserted darkly.

"Good, cause his former Alpha's got some buyer's remorse and might be coming around again."

Xabi scowled and his eyes flickered gold for a minute before he visibly got a hold of his emotions and turned to look at Stevie, who was now rinsing off the glasses and muttering something under his breath as he did.

“He'd better not come anywhere near him. Not now and not in the future. Stevie's mine. He's my _alma._ He's carrying my kit. There's no going back for any of us. He missed his chance and I'll be damned if I let him anywhere near him.”

Nando blinked and shook his head.

“It might be hard on the field. His old Alpha's our teammate. Can't say his name right now. But I just talked to him and now I'm telling you. He's regretting it, so be on your guard.”

Xabi's eyes narrowed, but he was saved from saying anything else with the arrival of Stevie with three matched glasses that were clean and crystal clear, with one already filled with sparkling water.

“We're going to eat, or are you guys just going to talk to each other in Spanish all night?”

Xabi shook his head and wrapped his arm around Stevie's neck, bringing him close and kissing the claiming mark and inhaling the oddly sharp sweetness that had recently manifested as part of Stevie's scent. Stevie purred and Nando made a noise that was a cross between a snort and a cough, breaking them out of the embrace and focusing on having dinner as had been the plan.

“Of course not! Sorry about that. Nando, you want to pour the wine?”

~*~*~*~*~

Xabi swallowed nervously as he rapped on Rafa's door, his and Stevie's contracts in hand. He was especially nervous since Stevie couldn't come with him as they had planned. He had gotten a nasty case of the flu and was so weak that he couldn't get out of bed. Nando's wife, Ollala had volunteered to keep an eye on him while they went off to Anfield and although the gesture was appreciated, Xabi´s instincts were still clawing at him to get back to his Omega's side and make sure that he and his kit were fine.

Despite that, he pushed forward and entered the office once he was given permission to do so.

“Ah! Alonso! Please, sit down. I was expecting you once the news arrived of your bonding to Gerrard. Is he well?”

Benitez asked as Xabi took the proffered seat, the folder with both of their contracts resting on his lap once he did. He looked around and relaxed a fraction when he saw that the other chairs were occupied by the agents and the president of the board. All of them had folders like his own and looked keenly interested in what he had to say about Stevie's health.

“He's got a flu at the moment, but otherwise good, especially since we have a kit on the way.”

Xabi explained, gesturing to the folder on his lap, which Benitez glanced at and nodded. The agents muttered amongst themselves, but there was no hostility or anger. More like excitement at the added detail that would be involved now that the news was out of Stevie's breeding.

“Thank you for bringing that up. So shall we proceed?”

Xabi nodded and settled back, uncapping a pen and pulling out a legal pad of paper to jot down notes during the meeting. He didn't want to miss anything in case it came back to haunt either of them later and he would be damned if he was going to let his Omega suffer because he wasn't diligent enough when he should have been. He would have never been able to forgive himself if that was the case.

“So here are the options...”

~*~*~*~*~

“That's it then. Thank you gentlemen. Copies of the new contracts will be added to your files once they have been signed. The old ones will be in effect until the end of the week.”

Xabi capped his pen and took a gulp of the tea that had been offered at the meeting before standing up and shaking the hands before making his exit out to the locker rooms to get changed. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool and he felt antsy and badly needing to be out on the pitch and practising. He was glad that the meeting had wrapped up in time for him to get into his kit and get out there and get a feel for the team.

Once he was in his gear, he jogged outside and blew out a breath when he took in the red and white of Anfield. So this was it. This was were his legacy was going to get its start.

“Hey! Xabi!”

His head was pulled back into the present when Nando called him over to where a small group was doing their stretches. Well, most of them. One of the others, a tallish Alpha with nondescript brown hair that was done and was...Xabi frowned. Was that other Alpha _glaring_ at him?

“What's the deal with him?” Xabi asked the moment after they had traded greetings and Nando had introduced him to the others in the group with him. 

Nando's face clouded slightly at the question, but before he could answer, the other Alpha had come close and stood in front of Xabi and Nando.

“So you're the new kid?”

Xabi shrugged. “One of them. Xabi Alonso and you are?”

Xabi asked as he held out a hand to shake, not really expecting any Alpha posturing from his other teammate. 

So it was a big surprise when the brown haired Alpha grabbed his hand in a strong grip and went gold eyed when he got close enough to get a whiff of the mixed scent that Xabi carried with him now that the bonding was complete and the kit a surety. Nando and the other Alphas, Betas and Omegas he had come in contact with didn't seem to mind. But this one did and Xabi couldn't, for the life of him, understand why this particular Alpha  _did_ mind. 

“Jamie Carragher. Steve's first Alpha.”

Xabi's eyes went gold and a roaring sound filled his ears before he wound up and cold-clocked the arrogant son of a bitch into unconsciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Registration and Bonding-Xabi is being responsible and serious about having Stevie as his mate. He's really caught up in being a proper Alpha and will do everything to the letter because he's that much into both the role and Stevie. It's not quite love between them, but getting there.  
> Carragher-He doesn't mean to be an asshole, but he's really near-sighted and has made poor choices on top of that.  
> Stevie-He's really bewildered and riding the high in some ways and will be more in touch with reality later on.
> 
> Apologies for the lateness. This has been a mad ride and I've been grabbing time here and there to finish this one. Again, if there are mistakes, they will be fixed. Title is still from the same song and again, thanks to all that read and comment. Cheers!


	4. After The Night When I wake Up, I'll See What Tomorrow Will Bring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xabi and Jamie settle their disputes through an Alpha Challenge. Xabi and Nando talk about the importance of getting to know a partner and Stevie asserts his desire to do the same.

Nando forced himself to keep a straight face while he stood in Rafa’s office with Xabi and a disgruntled Jamie, who was holding an ice pack to his eye and trying to glare at Xabi and failing at it miserably. The whole scenario was so ludicrous that he was having a hell of a time forcing himself to believe that this was actually happening, even though he had been right there when Carragher had been knocked out by a snarling Xabi. He had stood there for a few minutes afterwards, still blinking as Xabi crouched into a fighting position as he waited for Carragher to snap out of it and come after him.

Maybe it had been the fact that he had seen Xabi as a beta for so damned long that was making the entire Alpha challenge taking place in front of him take on a surreal quality. Or maybe it was because he couldn’t believe that Carragher had been that much of an idiot to actually challenge Xabi after he had been warned to not do that exact thing. Either way, he was having problems trying to reconcile everything that had happened and now needed sorting out and fast before the tabloids got a hold of it and distorted the entire story.

Nando cleared his throat and looked at the framed pictures and accolades that decorated the office so that he was able to school his expression enough as to not smirk at a crucial moment. He was still studying the framed picture of Malaga when Benitez came in with Sami, agents, and the union reps, making everyone else in the office sit up and take notice. He looked away from the picture and snuck a look at Xabi, who was as expressionless as a wall, despite his eyes being a clear and light gold colour. Carragher was still angry, but had retreated into a sullenness that was much easier to ignore and deal with in the long run.

It wasn’t the best scenario, but he could deal with it and made a mental note to fill everyone else in with the news before they got it from savoury sources. He hoped that it would ease the tension that was going to pick up until Carragher got his shit together or found his own omega in the end. The team didn’t need the strife when they were gambling to win big in the season and Nando truly hoped that Sami and Benitez would be savvy enough to build and keep the chemistry that they desperately needed.

“So gentlemen, what is the problem and why couldn’t it be solved without a challenge?” Benitez asked, his voice neutral as he spoke.

Xabi swallowed hard before he spoke, but Nando beat him to the punch.

“Carragher challenged Alonso in regards to his Omega. He was in the right to accept and answer the challenge.”

Benitez’ eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline when he heard that and the Union reps and the agents exchanged a look that was hard for Nando to decipher. He didn’t have time to ponder it, since Carragher had stood up and was trying to loom over Xabi, who was glaring at Carragher with his hands loosely balled into fists. His agent stepped forward to prevent anything from happening, and Carragher’s own agent did the same. Yes, they could probably fix the situation without resorting to an Alpha Challenge, which could get even more messy and dangerous than anyone really wanted to deal with at that moment.

“Stevie was mine first! I still  hold claim to him as an English Alpha!” Carragher roared, his canines lengthening and forcing his agent and Union rep into action to stop Carragher if he dared to spring onto Xabi. Xabi, who was side-eyeing Carragher with so much undisguised disgust and animosity that it was a wonder that the man hadn’t expired on the spot. His own agent came up to stand in front of him, but Xabi wasn’t moving. He was only watching and waiting to see what Carragher would do so that he could adjust his game plan accordingly.

Benitez frowned and looked at the Union rep. “Will that be a problem now that Alonso and Gerrard are bonded and mated?”

The Rep frowned and opened up the folder that he had been carrying and skimmed it, flipping a few pages here and there until he found the precedent.

“Not at all. If Alonso were from a non-EU or a South American, maybe. But it doesn’t matter in the wake of them being true-mates. No one will even consider a prior claim. Even if it was from a former Alpha and countryman.” The Union Rep replied after he had found the information and looked up at the rest of the Alphas and Betas gathered in the room. He then cleared his throat and looked straight at Xabi.

“How long ago did you and Omega Gerrard seal the bond and register it?” He asked delicately, his voice quiet and uninflected as he did so.

“We bonded a week and three days ago. Registered it just yesterday.” Xabi then jerked his head towards his agent and Benitez before he continued. “They have the new contracts. They know my Omega is breeding. That is why he is not here today.”

Nando had to wince at the slow and measured deliberateness that Xabi utilized to make that statement, especially since it made Carragher’s face go dead white and his eyes blaze with a golden fury that made them stand out vividly in contrast with his chalky face. It had been a direct hit and everyone in the room knew it.

But the subtle shifting of Carragher’s body showed Xabi that there was no backing down from the challenge that in his mind, was his right to take. Xabi sighed inwardly. He had actually figured  that an idiot like Carragher would come after him rather than blame his own miserable idiocy for his mistakes. Stevie deserved far more in his life than a jealous idiot who saw him as nothing more than property he could stick his dick into.

So when he saw the other Alpha’s eyes flicker, he was ready.

In a split second, Carragher leapt up. He ran,shoving everyone in his way aside before unleashing all of his humiliation and fury on Xabi. Without a second’s pause. he was grabbing Xabi’s shoulders and slamming him against the wall. This made the others in the office clear out in case they got caught up in the middle of an Alpha battle that would soon be out of control.

Carragher roared at Xabi, who managed to kick him in the stomach and slice through Carragher’s forearms in order to get loose. This made Carragher furious and he swung. Xabi was faster and dodged the blow before he put out a wicked cross that had Carragher’s head snapping back and blood flying through the air. He didn’t dare let him have a go and followed it up with a left hook that left Carragher slumping to his knees before falling heavily onto the stained carpet. This left Xabi breathing hard and clenching his hands into fists while not giving a damn that his claws were digging into the soft skin of his palms. They would heal, with all the chemicals flooding his system at that moment. It didn’t matter.

“He’s mine, you son of a bitch. Mine.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Nando asked for what felt like the thousandth time to Xabi, who only sighed and nodded before letting his head fall back against the headrest.

“I’m okay. I’m just tired now that the adrenaline’s worn off.” Xabi explained as he let his eyes fall closed, letting himself just relax and enjoy the movement of the car as Nando drove him home. He shifted and opened his eyes when the fabric of his sleeves caught on the still raw skin of his wounds. They had closed up, most of them, but they still stung like fire if he moved wrong.

But it was nothing compared to both putting Carragher in his place and reminding him that Stevie was not just a toy he could pick up whenever he felt like it.

The thought of Stevie made Xabi’s face flush and his throat tighten with pride and a fiercely protective glow heat up his heart. It was true that they were still trying to get to know each other, but it never felt like he was living with a stranger the longer that they spent time together. Stevie was home to him and he was going to do everything to protect that.

And the kit that was coming in less than eight months.

“So how long are you guys suspended for?” Nando asked, breaking p Xabi’s train of thought.

“Just a week and a game for the both of us. There’s talk of a loan happening at this point. Not of me.” Xabi amended hastily when Nando’s eyes widened at the news.

“They would seriously even consider a loan of Carragher?” Nando asked, frowning as he tried to figure out the logistics and position changes if that were to happen.

Xabi nodded, his mouth set in a grim line. “It’s a last resort if he keeps on pressing a challenge when Steve comes back. I won’t have Steve feeling like he can’t come back to his club and just play. Besides, Carragher was the one that started all of this. He is the constant in everything. Makes sense to have him out of the equation.”

Nando flinched at the blunt summation of the situation, but he couldn’t deny that there was truth in Xabi’s words. Carragher had been the one to pursue Steve, had been the one to press a bond that he had no compunction in breaking. He hadn’t cared about what happened to Stevie until it was clear that he had moved on to bigger and better things. He had no damned rights over Stevie and if it also affected the team dynamics, then it was better to go with a new and less troublesome addition.

“So you’re both out then.”

“Yep. I still have to show up for practice on alternate days. I don’t mind. Better than having to train by myself and not get the feel of the coaching and the lines I’ll be playing with.”

Xabi pointed out, making Nando nod. He already had some idea of what to expect from Xabi from their International games and training, but he wasn’t sure as to how he would fit into the Liverpool and English league-style of play. He was sure that Xabi was up for the challenge though. Even if he would have to be even more aggressive in play than he usually was.

“Yeah. I wouldn’t worry too much about it though. You’ll be fine here. I’m sure that something will work itself out. Maybe you on Stevie’s line...Hey, how long do we have Steve for after this?”

“A few more months. Maybe three? It really depends on what medical and management have to say to him about the risks.”

Xabi pointed out, his hand clenching at the thought of any harm coming to Stevie and their kit. The field could be rough and Stevie was a bit older than most Omegas for a first kit, that was true. But Stevie was pretty healthy compared to other younger Omegas and that was something that comforted Xabi. Things would be okay. He would be able to at least get a sense of what Stevie was like on the field before their kit is born and it would all work out.

“It’s a bit short, but it’s better than nothing. Anyways, we’re here.” Nando added as they parked a little ways from the flat and walked up to it, neither one really keen on speaking anymore after the

Nando checked his phone as they walked up and smiled to himself before looking up at Xabi, who only raised an eyebrow in query.

“Ollala’s at your place. She says everything’s good. Stevie’s sleeping and he’s looking better. Doc says the kit’s good. No worries.” He put his phone away before he looked up at Xabi with a slight smirk. “You’ll forgive me if we don’t stay? I think you and Stevie need to catch up without any interruptions.”

Xabi turned a slight pink before shaking his head at that, making Nando laugh and tap him on the arm. He didn’t think that he could really joke like that with Xabi. Sese and Cesc, maybe. But not Xabi, who always held a gravity about him similar to the one that Iker himself did and even if he had somehow ended up being closer in such a turbulent time, he didn’t think he could take those kinds of liberties with him as of yet.

“It’s not always like that.” Xabi found himself muttering, making Nando snicker.

“I know. I know it’s not always like that. But still. You guys need to catch up without anyone around. It’s not like a bond will infuse all of your quirks and experiences with his. You still need to really know each other.”

“I know. Believe me. I know that all too well that I don’t even know what kind of plans he had other than having a family, no matter what the cost. I don’t even know exactly how I feel about him. Other than I never want to lose him or cause him to be in  pain or unhappy.”

Nando swallowed sharply at that, but said nothing else and just gave a small, non-committal noise before Xabi fished his keys out and they entered the flat. They heard voices in the kitchen speaking quietly and headed there.

Sure enough, Stevie and Ollala were sitting around the table, mugs of tea cradled in their hands as they looked at something on Stevie’s laptop. A half-filled legal pad was sitting next to the laptop full of ideas and bare sketches of diagrams that Stevie was about to add to when he looked up and noticed Xabi and Nando standing there.

“Practice let out early?” He asked, putting his mug down and moving towards Xabi and Nando.

“Yes and no. It’s a bit complicated to explain at the moment why we’re here so early.” Nando replied as he inched his way towards his wife.

Stevie’s brow furrowed as he turned to Xabi, his eyes moving fast as he scanned Xabi, his eyes turning amber when he saw the cuts across Xabi’s knuckles. He stepped closer to Xabi and took his hand, his mouth thinning as he looked at the abrasions on the knuckles and the palm of his hand.

“Carragher challenged me on the field.” Xabi told him, looking straight into Stevie’s eyes once he had finished examining the wounds.

Stevie’s eyes widened impossibly and he took a step back, making Xabi reach for him and pull him close, scenting him when Stevie began to chirrup in distress.

“He didn’t win, Stevie. He didn’t win. He’s never going to bother you over this again. It’s done.” Xabi murmured as he rubbed circles onto Stevie’s back to soothe him as he spoke. Around them, the scent of Christmas baking, which had gotten almost cloying, receded, as did the sounds of Stevie’s chirruping, which were replaced by the sounds of soft purring.

They stayed that way for several moments until Stevie was the one that pulled away and faced Nando and Ollala, who were discreetly making a beeline for the door. Although Ollala only looked embarrassed at having caught them in such an intimate situation, Nando’s eyes were shadowed and dark with an expression Stevie couldn’t really pin down.

“We’ll just...We’ll just see ourselves out. I think we’ve imposed enough already. Stevie’, always good to see you looking better. I’ll text you all the practice dates. We’re out.”

Ollala offered them a shy smile while Nando concluded that statement with a nod before he and his wife exited, leaving Xabi and Stevie alone.

“So he challenged you. I don’t know what to say, really. It wasn’t like he was overly concerned with my feelings when he broke off our bonding agreement.” Stevie muttered tartly.

Xabi snorted and wrapped his arm around Stevie’s waist, bringing him close again. Despite Stevie being calmer than before, he still felt the urge to touch him and keep him close to know that he was okay. It wasn’t possessiveness that prompted this urge, but simply the need to have Stevie right there because Stevie was his partner and his bondmate. His equal.

“He was seduced by a pretty face and he didn’t know the value of what he had in front of him, the fucker.” Xabi commented, making Stevie snort despite the harshness of the comment.

“Xabi, I’m no-”

“Yeah, you are, Stevie. I’ll never believe otherwise. I may not know you as well as I’d like to get to know you, but I do know that much.”

Stevie reddened slightly at that before smiling slightly.

“Same. I mean...I would like to know you better. I’m not naive to know that a bond isn’t an end all to be all. I don’t know you like I know my mates. Like I know my captain and I’d like to start that, if you’d like to as well.”

Stevie got out, his eyes flickering this way and that as he waited for Xabi’s reply. He knew that he shouldn’t be nervous, but old habits tended to die hard and it had just been a week since he had been ditched and Xabi was still a mystery. He was different from Jamie in so many ways, but he still wasn’t sure exactly if he was still threading safe ground with him. He didn’t have as many tells as Jamie did. He would have to learn.

Xabi nodded, his face softening at the suggestion before he pulled out his mobile.

“Do you want to start over dinner then?”

Stevie grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alpha Challenge- An Alpha can be challenged for their Omega and it can be fought out, or the first Alpha can walk away and give up the Omega. Carragher chooses to challenge Xabi, who accepts it and beats him, shutting down any future challenges that may arise. 
> 
> Xabi and Nando-Their closeness is the reason why Xabi doesn't really comment or get involved in the Nando and Sese issue like the others do. 
> 
> Xabi and Stevie-Still clumsy, but getting there.


	5. I Must Be Addicted To How You See The Best Of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xabi gets a not welcome, yet much needed call to take care of a past flame and the rest of the team has to deal with tabloid intrusion and the possible fall out to come from it.

Xabi’s hand shot out from under the covers to grab his phone and pull it back under the covers with him. He wasn’t willing to face the world just yet and he didn’t want for Stevie to wake up before he absolutely had to. They both had practice today and he was very tempted to skin whoever it was on the other side of the line if they insisted on having a longer conversation than two minutes. That was all that he was willing to put up with that early in the morning.

“Allo? Do you know what time it is?” Xabi growled out sleepily.

“Good morning to you too, Xabi. Great greeting, by the way.” Nagore’s crisply amused voice broke through the early morning haze and woke up instantly, making him pull the covers back and blink up at the daylight. He turned and saw that Stevie was still completely out cold and Xabi felt vaguely guilty at the sight. They had stayed up extremely late, just talking and having tea until Xabi found himself nodding off with his head on Stevie’s broad shoulder, much to Stevie’s amusement.

They had reluctantly called it a night, neither of them wanting to let go of the intimacy that they had stumbled upon after random anecdotes became deep discussions and revelations about each other. Old war stories, heartbreak and triumphs had been touched upon and Xabi cursed the time crunch that broke that bubble. He wanted it back and even though he knew that it would slowly come, it still was an ache, as if he had gotten so close and still wasn’t quite there.

He had to push it away though, now that his past was literally calling him. Careful to not wake Stevie up, he crept out of bed and went to the kitchen to finish the conversation he knew that he should have had the minute the ink had dried on their bonding certificate.

“My apologies, but it’s a practice day and I stayed up much later than I had planned on.”

He rubbed at his eyes and moved to the sink to fill up the kettle for breakfast while he waited for Nagore to get to the point. She wasn’t one to talk for the sake of talking. He knew that maybe some news had trickled down and she wanted to clarify it. Or maybe, (the last was with just a bit of cautious optimism on his part) she was calling him to tell him she had found her own Omega and that they were no longer beholden to each other.

“Why did you stay up so late? Was it to do with Carragher?”

Xabi’s eyes opened completely wide and he dropped the kettle in shock, not quite believing what he had just heard from Nagore.

“What? What does Carragher have anything to do with anything? No. I stayed up because I was talking with my Omega and we lost track of the time. Carragher? What the hell?”

Nagore swore and Xabi heard the sound of a tap being turned on and the sounds of her muttering under her breath for a few seconds before she finally addressed him again.

“Omega? Since when are you an Alpha?” She asked, her voice cracking as she spoke the words, making him wince at the raggedness of her voice as she spat out the words as if they were shards of glass.

Xabi sighed heavily as he fished out the half-full kettle from the sink and re-filled it before he put it on the range to boil. It wasn’t imperative he do that, but the actions gave him time to frame what he needed to say to Nagore without hurting her worse than he already had.

“Just before I signed. I didn’t...I know it was the coward’s way out, but it was just so overwhelming, playing a game through it and then coming fully into it in the locker room. I just had to cut and run. Liverpool seemed like the best place to go until I figured out exactly what the hell I was going to do next, never mind the rest of my life. I didn’t think I would find my Omega here. But it happened. We can’t go back anymore, Nagore. It’s not going to happen.”

His voice dropped down to a pained whisper as the words tumbled out of his mouth. What more could he say? They weren’t meant to be. Not in the way that Nagore wanted it. He felt horrible shame and grief over the way that things had turned out. If either of them had been Beta or an Omega, maybe this call would have been one of a promise and an arrangement. Not one of closing the door on the past and wishing each other well.

Her breathing was sharp and he was sure that he could hear her trying to desperately keep it together until she could formulate some kind of reply. He waited for her to say anything, something, so that they could just hang up and move on. He was maybe being a bit callous in thinking that, but there was nothing else he could see them doing.

Not only were they biologically incompatible...He didn’t feel that they had anything else to really address. Yes, they had shared a past and a nascent love and a probable future, but she wasn’t that for him. Stevie was it. There was no one else.

She took in a deep breath, the inhalation sharp and loud in his ears, making him swallow. But he waited patiently for her to speak.

“Does he mean that much to you? That stranger that you just met a week ago? So much that you’d turn your back on everything that you once knew? Does he even speak your language? Does he know your customs? Your history?”

Xabi closed his eyes at the questions and swallowed hard before he gave an answer.

“I know his. He’s learning about me and I am learning about his history. It’s not what you and I had, but it’s a foundation we can start to build upon and for now, I think that can be enough.”

Nagore coughed at that before she sighed heavily, a shuddering and heavy sound that seemed as if it was torn from deep in her chest. He wanted to end the call then, after hearing that sound. He hated that he was the cause of it and that it was necessary for him to have caused Nagore to make it in the first place.

“Then there's nothing more to say or do. I can’t, at this time, wish you well. But I can tell you to take care of yourself. They aren’t like us. Good bye.”

~*~*~*~*~

He wasn’t sad, oddly enough. Even after he pressed the end button and shoved his mobile into the pocket of his pajama trousers, he was eerily calm. It was done and he refused to think on it any longer. That life was over before it began. He had a new life now and he was going to do his best to make it a good one. For him, for Stevie and the kit that would soon join them.

The kettle began to burble a warning and Xabi moved into action, putting the mugs and tea bags out and the milk and sugar before turning off the range and pouring the boiling water in. He then turned to dig into the fridge for the lemon he was sure was there when he heard footsteps. He stood up in time to catch Stevie yawning widely as he made a beeline for the tea on the counter.

“Bless, love. Ta for the cuppa.”  Stevie murmured as he wrapped his arm around Xabi’s waist and reached around him to pluck the mug that Xabi had fixed up and drank down a quarter of it before he turned to Xabi and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“You’re cold. Is everything allright, Xabs?”

Xabi’s mouth crooked up as he turned to look at Stevie, who was looking at him with sleepy concern as he sipped down his tea.He was still sleep-flushed and his hair was still sticking up in the back, making him look even younger than ever. Watching Stevie enjoy the tea did much to erase anything lingering after speaking to Nagore and maybe made him a bit mushy as he squeezed lemon juice into his tea.

“Yeah. Everything’s great. More than great.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss Stevie, grinning at the taste of cream and sugar that lingered on his lips.

~*~*~*~*~

“What do you think of him on your line?” Nando looked up at Benitez and bit his lower lip as he weighed the possibilities of having Xabi and Stevie on his line. They had proved to be fast and heavy hitters. It was an advantage that Xabi had the sneakiness to catch the openings and go forward whenever he and Stevie got bogged down. Garcia covered the rest and it was a godsend that they both were there. They could switch between them when the inevitable leave was in effect. They had done well in signing them both.

Stevie and Xabi had automatically clicked and worked like a well oiled machine on the field. Most of the goals on their team had been courtesy of their work and whoever they got paired up with, they also reaped the benefits. It was a win-win situation that Nando felt guilty in admitting wasn’t the case with Carra on the field. They were good, but with Xabi, they were even better and it was obvious that the loan rumours would be more than that come the first game of that they got Xabi in the field.

“He’s what we needed. Yeah.” Nando agreed cautiously as he replayed the practice that had just occurred. He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his tracksuit and waited for Benitez to make a note on his clipboard before nodding and calling an end to the practice. Sighing, Nando headed back to the locker room, eager to peel off his sticky practice clothes and call Sese. He missed him acutely, the happiness between Xabi and Stevie showing him the increasing hollowness of his life with Ollala. He still was too afraid to actually take the steps to make Sese his proper mate, but he could see that something was going to have to give sooner, rather than later.

He gave a few nods here and there and went to get clean, his mind already on the day ahead and the promise of a conversation with Sese. He didn’t notice the strange tenseness that was in place. At least not until he came out to get dressed. He wrinkled his nose at the slight sourness in the air despite the other scents of soap and cologne that permeated the dressing room, but didn’t put too much mind to it. The suppressants and his own reluctance to fully use his Alpha senses gave him faulty messages, so he tended to ignore them unless Sese or Stevie were involved.

“Have you read the paper?” Sami asked Nando, making him look at his captain once he had finished pulling on his sweater.

Nando shook his head and Sami pulled out his iphone and showed him the webpage.

**_“Latin Homewrecker Gets Omega And Position In One Fell Swoop!”_ **

Nando’s eyes skimmed the article, swearing under his breath as he saw the events of their last practice luridly retold for the whole of England and the world to make judgements over. He sighed when he was done and looked at his captain. Sami was rubbing his forehead and looking like he wanted to be somewhere else other than there at the moment.

“How did it get out so damned fast?”

Sami shook his head. “I wish I knew. All I know is that we gotta kill it and fast. Benitez and the PR group need to know this. In the meantime, keep it all quiet and keep a close eye on Alonso and Gerrard. I’ve already warned them.”

Nando nodded. “Allright. Will do. I’ll see you then.”

Sami nodded, shoving his phone in his pocket before he clapped Nando on the shoulder and walked away, presumably to fix the mess before it got out of hand.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jamie rubbed his eyes and sighed heavily as he was confronted by the tabloid headline on his screen. Once he found out who it was that had leaked out the story, he was going to happily skin them. Or sue them for libel, which was the socially acceptable way of doing that as an adult. Either way, he was not impressed.

Not only did he have the possibility of being loaned out hanging over his head, he had to now deal with the humiliation of having his personal life splashed across the tabloids. It was bad enough that his teammates had witnessed his idiotic challenge, but to have the whole of England know it was on another level of hell altogether. He was going to have to explain it when he got the paps harassing him at practice. Or the damned chants. He could hardly wait to see what kind of fresh hell they would come up with the next time he came out to play.

“Oh sweet bloody hell.” He muttered and clicked the window closed. He opened his mail instead and sure enough, there were a couple of emails from his agent, the team and Benitez. Although he expected it, he still stifled a sigh at seeing them.

Frowning, he opened and began to read, his relief flooding through his body as he read the assurances that the leak would be found out and damage control would be done. Although it was reassuring, he still was smarting from the knowledge that someone had sold a private moment for public consumption. He rubbed his forehead and wrote out replies to the emails before he texted Sami and Nando.

_“Any chance that we can meet? There’s a whole lot we need to cover.”_

~*~*~*~*

“They don’t hold back much, do they?” Xabi asked Stevie when they saw the article that had been forwarded onto to them.

Stevie sighed and rested his chin onto Xabi’s shoulder as he watched his mate scroll down to the bottom and then click onto another page.

“They are that relentless. I just have to wonder where they got that information.” Stevie commented. He turned to look at Xabi to gauge his reaction to the comment and the article.

“It wouldn’t have been Carragher, that’s for certain. No Alpha wants to have his humiliation splashed all over for the world to see. Even if it was something like a formal challenge.”

Stevie nodded and Xabi frowned. “So what happens now?”

“Nothing. It’s not their business that you and I are together. As long as we show up and win games, the lager louts can’t say SFA about anything.”

“And the team? Will anything be sent out about this?”

Stevie tilted his head as he thought about it. “Quite possibly. We just have to wait until this all blows over. It will. Nothing other than nuisances comes out of this kind of rubbish.”

Xabi only made a small noise of agreement as he turned around to bring Stevie closer. Although he was sure that it was just the usual media bullshit surrounding them, he couldn’t help but to promise himself that he would go the extra mile to keep Stevie and his pup safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this an early Christmas present. I just came home for the hols and scrounged out enough time to write this chapter. Stevie and Xabi are still finding their footing and Xabi does finally clean up his past in a way, this is the calm before the storm. We have everything set up before it all starts going iffy.
> 
> Again, thank you to all that read, comment and wait patiently. I know that it's been a tad more erratic to write this series, so your patience is greatly appreciated. Cheers.


	6. I Wonder If You'll Back Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie is experiencing the less pleasant side effects of breeding. Effects which end up being the least of his worries when the team ends up clashing against Manchester United with negative results for himself and the team.

Steve flushed the toilet and clumsily got to his feet. His equilibrium was starting to get shot now that his center of gravity had changed in the last couple of months and he wasn’t as graceful as he had been. Not only was he forced to compensate, he also had to deal with morning sickness that was almost impossible to keep under control. Although he had been lucky, Stevie had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to be benched sooner than he had anticipated.

He groaned at the thought of missing out a good chunk of the season and reached for his toothbrush and toothpaste to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth. Once he was done, he washed his face and went back to bed, snuggling up close against the warmth of his Alpha. Xabi wrapped his arm around Stevie and kissed his temple, making Stevie sigh and purr in sheer happiness.

They lay without speaking for awhile. Xabi sleepily listened to Stevie’s purring and carded his fingers through his short hair and breathed in the scent of milk and sweetness coming from Stevie’s skin. He loved that Christmas scent and the further the pregnancy progressed, the stronger that it got. He smiled sleepily and pressed a kiss onto the top of Stevie’s head.

“Are you feeling better now?” Xabi murmured, not wanting to speak too loudly and ruin the tranquility of the moment.

Stevie nodded, his purring getting louder as he nodded.  He looked up at Xabi and smiled softly.

“It’s passed. I’m good for the game this afternoon.” Stevie replied softly.

Xabi kissed him again. “Good. I’m glad you’re going to be on my line against Manchester United today.”

Stevie laughed softly at that before resuming his purring. “Me too. We’ve got a good change to decimate them today.”

Xabi laughed softly and closed his eyes again. They still had some time that was just theirs with no expectations to fulfill except their own.

~*~*~*~*

Carragher wiped the blood off his upper lip and looked around the locker room. It had been a last minute gift from one of those arseholes in Manchester. He had paid them back in full, so he wasn’t as put out as he otherwise would have been. All of them were as banged up and shell-shocked as he was. The ones that were still there, that was.

Only Nando and Xabi were absent. But it was understandable why they were not there. He grimaced and tried to tamp down the same feelings of mixed concern and jealousy that had risen whenever he saw Xabi subtly hovering over his mate. His breeding mate. Jamie hands clenched reflexively, but he forced himself to unclench his fists and calm down. He had lost Stevie, fair and square. And as much as it had hurt to admit it and hear the taunts and the chants, he had lost Stevie.

The only comfort he got in having lost him was that at least Xabi was a truemate rather than just some other Alpha wanker off the street. Everyone knew that there wouldn’t be any competition and thus, no real shame at being beaten in the claim. But it still rankled on some nights when he was with his Beta girlfriend and wondering if they would actually make it through once the baby was born.

But right now, it wasn’t the time. He had to help Sami calm the other lads down and ease the tension that was thick as fog. They had won and the points were more than welcome, but the loss of Stevie and the red cards that Xabi had accrued. Not to mention the possible fine and ban that could possibly follow if the disciplinary board thought they had enough of a case against Xabi. The rest of the lads were on edge and Sami was going to need all the help that he could get and Jamie was going to have to step up to bat for that.

“Those bleedin’ bastards! What right do they think they had knockin’ Stevie about like that?”

Jamie looked up and wiped his nose again, wrinkling it when he saw faint smears of blood on the crumpled, bloodstained tissue he had balled up in his fist ever since he had entered the room. He sighed inwardly when he saw Carroll glowering at the room at large, his hair a wild tangle about his face. He wanted to be pissed off, but he understood that there was no point in getting shirty with Carroll, who was only expressing what the rest of them were feeling at the time. Stevie was well-loved and Xabi, despite his introverted nature, had gained a considerable backing with the rest of them. The loss of both of them was a harsh blow to contemplate, never mind deal with.

“They should be the ones in front of the disciplinary board, instead of Alonso!”

This was followed by a series of muttered comments and black looks that prompted Jamie into action and Sami to his feet.

“Allright lads. Allright. Settle down.” Jamie shouted over the din until it was nothing but a few muttered and scattered comments. Sami shot him a grateful look before he addressed the room at large.

“I know you are all upset about the game, but I must ask you to keep a level head about the situation.Both hits are under review and we will know the ruling in a couple of days.”

There was a renewed muttering that was quelled by Jamie’s shouting and Sami cleared his throat before speaking.

“Stevie has been looked over and the doctors think he is fine as well as his kit. He will be on the Injured Reserve until further notice.”

A collective sigh of relief was heard around the room at the words and Jamie himself felt the tension that had been building up in his shoulders dissipate at Sami’s words. He thanked whatever deity was out there listening for the small mercy before turning his attention back to his teammates. Most of which had their phones out and were already texting friends and family with the news.

Although his impulse was to snap at them to not let any news leak out, he stopped himself when he realized that if Sami was telling the news, there was no doubt that it was all over the internet and twitter as well. It was invasive, but he also understood that it had to be done. He had seen the reactions of the crowd before the police and security personnel had herded both squads off the field. They had to give them something before the louts made it into an excuse to turn loose and drench the streets with blood over team loyalties.

“Escorts will be outside and I suggest that we all head home and lay low. Despite winning the game, it’s simply not safe to be out there. No talking to ANYONE. Make sure that your family and friends are trustworthy and will not be tempted for a hundred pounds to sell this story. If we catch another leak, there will be consequences. Remember that. Thanks and have a good evening.”

Jamie looked at the rest of the lads and noted sardonically that most had taken their captain’s words to heart and put their phones away and quickly got ready to leave. Some stayed, sitting quietly and talking amongst themselves, but they were few. It had been a pyrrhic victory of a game and with their looming losses, no one was truly in the mood to celebrate.

Sighing heavily, Jamie quickly stripped out of his grimy kit, grabbed his towel and toiletry bag and went to the showers.

The sooner the day was over and done with, the sooner that he could start his day anew.

~*~*~*~*~

Nando sat on the counter of the apartment Xabi and Stevie shared, his hands around a mug of tea with a splash of whiskey in it, courtesy of Stevie’s older brother via Carragher It was a surprising turn of events, but Nando couldn’t turn him away. Not when it was all too obvious that he was there to make amends over what had happened in the field. It wasn’t his fault, really. But he still felt like he had to make some kind of amends until they all knew that Stevie would be home safe rather than lying in a sterile NHS hospital under heavy sedation while Xabi watched him with red-rimmed and bruised eyes.

Carragher himself was sitting on a chair, not daring to take the liberties that close friendship would have afforded him. So he sat in the chair and fiddled with his phone nervously as he waited for Paul to text him and send him news. He took a heady mouthful of his drink and looked at Nando, who had his phone beside him on the counter and an abstracted look on his face as he took swallows of the doctored tea. His face was flushed and those dark eyes of his were glassy and shiny with worry and it made him wonder if it was just the complete collapse on the field that was making him act that way.

But he remained silent and simply waited for the minutes to tick by and news to make it all bearable.

Nando had made tea for the both of them and Jamie had offered the whiskey wordlessly when Jamie had showed up. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other at all and had just drank the mug of whiskey laced tea quietly. Everything that needed to be said had been said already and they weren’t in the mood to fill the air with pointless platitudes. Both preferred the silence until they had something tangible to really discuss.

Nando was halfway through his tea when his phone rang, startling both of them badly enough that they nearly dumped their mugs onto their laps. It was a good thing that they had drained their mugs dry.

“Allo? Xabs? Is he up?”

Nando’s eyes flickered and he rubbed his long, freckled nose, the only sound being Xabi’s voice rumbling in rapid-fire Spanish that Carragher hadn’t a hope in hell of following and so he was forced to wait for Nando’s reaction in order to glean information. He looked down at his cell in the meantime, but the screen remained stubbornly blank.

“-for real? But he and his kit are good?”

Jamie looked up at the startled exclamation and Nando held up his hand as he listened before he ended the call. He rubbed his eyes harshly and sighed heavily before finally looking straight at Carragher, who tried to not be impatient for the news that Nando had only given him a very thin hint of. Nando put his hand down and jumped off the counter, making them more whiskey laced tea before he finally shared his news.

“The doctors checked them over and are monitoring and will keep on doing so for a few more days. Maybe even a week or so. Stevie and the kit are doing well. But he’s not coming back to play for the duration of his pregnancy. There’s too high of a risk he’ll get tackled like he did and lose the kit.”

Carragher went pale and shakily gulped down half of the tea, the burning of it going down not even registering with him as the news sank in. He put the half empty cup down on the table and wiped his mouth, the news still not quite sinking in. He rubbed his lower lip with his thumb as he let it all sink in.

He had been a fraction too slow to stop the tackle. He had been engaged by another player, and had only seen a flash of foreign red barrelling towards Stevie, who was too focused on the ball to look up. He had seen him coming and shoved the man out of the way and rushed towards Stevie.

Carragher felt like he was moving through treacle. No matter how hard he pushed himself, he couldn’t make it to save Stevie fast enough. He saw Stevie fall down like a ton of bricks, his face a mask of shock and agony when he landed, curling up around his belly protectively. It was only then that Carragher had reached him.

He heard a roar behind him and he only looked up to get a bash in the mouth before he had the presence of mind to cover Stevie before the pandemonium broke out behind them and got Stevie hurt even more. He ignored the taste of blood in his mouth and focused on covering him before the medics could get through the throngs of fights that were breaking out all over the field.  

“Stevie? Stevie? Listen to me, it’s going to be allright. Listen to me, it’s going to be allright.”

Carragher told him, making Stevie look up and grimace before shaking his head. He gasped out in pain and before Carragher could say anything to him, Nando and the medics arrived and bundled Stevie off, making it the last time he saw Stevie.

He closed his eyes and stopped rubbing his lip. He looked up at Nando, who had just finished his tea. He put the mug in the sink and slid off the counter, grabbing his jacket and patting down his pockets to fish out his phone and a few notes. Once that was done, he gestured to Carragher’s mug.

“You done with the tea? Xabi said that they’re letting Stevie have visitors. Maybe it would be good to see a familiar face.”

Carragher didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed his coat and patted his pockets to make sure he had his wallet and keys. He grabbed his phone and nodded.

“Let’s go then.”

~*~*~*~*~

Stevie took a deep breath and stretched out, relieved when there was no pain and no wetness between his legs. There had been minimal bleeding and the doctor had assured them that it would stop soon enough. He breathed out and closed his eyes, sending a small prayer out for the danger being past. He squeezed Xabi’s hand tightly before looking up at him.

“Are you feeling better?”

Stevie nodded, his eyes drooping due to the medications that were being pumped into his body.

Xabi breathed raggedly, stroking his Omega’s hair away from his still pale face. His hand trembled with the gesture, but steadied at the second pass. Once he had repeated the gesture, he moved closer to Stevie and kissed him. A desperate and hard kiss that he couldn’t break even after he had explored and tasted all of Stevie. He broke the kiss, inhaled deeply and pressed a chaste and tender kiss on his mate’s cheek.

“You’re going to be fine. The kit’s going to be fine. She’ll be healthy and beautiful.”

Xabi whispered, cradling Stevie’s face and trying to not break down, but failed as the silent tears coursed down his face.

“She will be love. She will be.”

Xabi gave him a watery smile and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

That was how Nando and Carragher found them when they came into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevie-I did hint in the earlier stories that he had been ill, but hadn't really explained why he ended up being ill and in danger and withdrawn. Injuries do occur on the pitch and I had realized that I hadn't written about this before. He is about three months along and even though he did bleed slightly, he will be fine with bedrest and close monitoring. 
> 
> Carragher-Yes, he did get a bit of a redemption here. His pride was hurt and he lashed out, but now that he's gotten over himself, he has helped out because he does give a damn about Stevie. 
> 
> Nando-He's support and one of the background players in the Xabi and Stevie drama.
> 
> Proofed and edited and yes, I am again playing fast and loose with dates, moving it up to the 2008-2009 season and very close to the World Cup to tie into the other stories. Title of this chapter and Chapter 5 were from Morgan Page's "Addicted."
> 
> Happy New Year's! Enjoy the next part of the story (I Hope)


	7. Oh Where Do We Begin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie's woes continue and even the long awaited birth of their kit won't ease them and in fact, causes more than he or Xabi had ever bargained for.

Nando was eating yogurt when Xabi plunked himself down at the dinner table and sighed heavily while scrubbing his face with his knuckles. Nando didn’t hurry to speak to Xabi and instead swallowed down his spoonful of yogurt before turning his attention to his teammate. He dipped the spoon back into the pastel orange yogurt and was scooping out another spoonful when he realized that Xabi wasn’t going to say anything. Normally, he wouldn’t have minded, but he knew that Xabi was just not saying anything to not be a burden.

He could tell by the stiff set of his shoulders and the reddened, painfully looking state of his lips that Stevie’s state was preying heavily on Xabi’s mind. Despite Stevie being out of serious danger for awhile. After that night, Stevie had not bled and the sonogram showed the kit was still there and healthy. But then, the morning sickness had set in something awful and had delayed Stevie’s return back home. Xabi practically lived in the hospital and split his time between practice and Nando’s or Carragher’s place. He was sleeping badly and Nando had woken him up from nightmares that were becoming more frequent than not.

Xabi was always embarrassed by that happening, but Nando couldn’t blame him. It had been the stuff of nightmares, seeing that damned Manc take Stevie out on the pitch like nothing. Not to mention seeing Stevie lying there, his arms wrapped around his middle as he fought to keep both the pain and the panic that was assaulting him down. He also recalled, with crystal clarity, how grey and pale and so weak and fragile Stevie had looked. That was something he would have never thought to ever associate with his teammate. Stevie was mulish and hard, just like the damned chant. He was the farthest thing from delicate and seeing him having been forced into such a condition angered Nando as much as it angered their teammates.

Not even the heavy fines laid at the feet of the player and Manchester United had eased that rage and games between the teams had only upped that rancor. The games had been heavy with tension and heavily policed and had been easy wins for Liverpool, since the Mancs had been heavily intimidated by the possibility of violence and payback and had played a too careful game to their detriment. The attack on Stevie had also raised the question of when Omegas should be kept from the field and whether Omegas should even be allowed to play in the Premier League. Although it had only come to murmurs and rumours, it was still enough to cause grumblings in the locker rooms and enough vociferous push back outside of the pitch that the idea was quickly discarded.

Nando had been following the news anxiously, watching the proceedings with a critical eye and breathing a sigh of muted relief when nothing came out of it. Although he had been sure that things were never going to get as restrictive as it was in Spain, he still watched and waited to make sure that wasn’t going to be the case. He also didn’t dare question why he was doing that. He didn’t question his reluctance for examining his reasons closely, nor did he admit as to why he was even entertaining them. He wasn’t ready to face that. Not just yet.

Pushing all of that aside, he jammed his spoon in his yogurt and faced Xabi.

“How are you holding up? And don’t lie to me or wave it off. I can see it on you as clear as day. So spill it: What’s going on?”

Xabi gave a shadow of a smile at that and rubbed his eyes roughly before he spoke.

“Stevie has to stay in the hospital for a few more weeks. He’s pretty weak  from the morning sickness and the doctors don’t want to risk anything. So he’s staying put.”

Nando let out a noise of sympathy and put his yogurt and spoon down before turning to face Xabi completely.

“But he’s going to be fine, right? I know it isn’t ideal, but at least he’s somewhere that can get him help right away if he needs it.” Nando pointed out, hoping that at least that would be a positive rather than a negative.

Even though he wasn’t really keen on visiting an ashen faced and usually exhausted Stevie in white-washed and antiseptic room that Xabi and Stevie’s family had done their best to make look as homey as possible, he still did it. Nando knew that Stevie was scared, uncomfortable and wanting to go home despite knowing that he was getting the best care by staying in the hospital. But it wasn’t the same as being home and starting to nest. The instinct was starting to rise up and he was getting agitated that despite his desire to start making the flat liveable for the kit; he was stuck in a bed, too exhausted to do more than walk down the hallway and come back again.

Xabi nodded and snatched up the half-eaten cup of yogurt, making Nando give a small growl of annoyance while getting up and getting another cup and spoon. He didn’t truly begrudge Xabi the food. He was just annoyed that he had to go and get another container and the effort that went along with it. Xabi grinned once Nando had gotten his yogurt and ate a large spoonful of yogurt before speaking.

“It’s just a precaution, but with the nesting instincts going into overdrive, it’s hard for Stevie to accept. It’s also damned hard to see him be so sick. I mean...I really have to wonder if maybe we should just have one and stop. I don’t want to put his life in danger if it’s going to be this hard for him.”

Nando winced at that. It was a valid fear. He himself had had it in the back of his mind whenever he had mated with Sese. He had been relieved that the suppressants acted like birth control and he was always careful to use condoms as well. He knew that if Sese was as sick as Stevie, or worse, die because of him, he would never be able to forgive himself for it happening. So he could understand Xabi’s reluctance and fears, even though he wasn’t sure that they were really well founded.

“Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun, though, Xabi? It’s the first time he’s breeding. Every pregnancy is different.”

Xabi made a low noise in his throat before spooning out more yogurt into his mouth and swallowing.

“I know. I really do know that. I’m just a bit freaked out about losing him after I just found him. It was an impulse that brought me to Liverpool. I had to run from not having a future in Spain and finding him, finding a possible future here was better than I ever expected. I can’t lose him so damned soon after finding him.”

Xabi admitted urgently, his hazel eyes turning light gold as he spoke.

Nando turned away from the intensity of Xabi’s sentiments. He got it. He really did. It was something that he himself struggled with whenever he took the illicit calls or looked at his wife and daughter. He had to make a decision though, and the idea of an unknown future was something that he had a hell of a time contemplating. It just made him hellishly anxious and even more reluctant to give Sese a specific answer whenever the topic was brought up. He understood, but he also knew that Xabi was acting out of fear rather than rational thought.

“You won’t.  Stevie may be sick right now, but he’s tough. He’s gone through a hell of a lot and he will be able to handle this as well. He’s just a bit sick at the moment, but it will pass. Just like these couple of weeks will pass. So don’t go jumping the gun just yet without talking to him. He’s also part of the equation too.”

Xabi frowned and his eyes widened when he realized just what Nando was saying. His face flushed hotly and he laughed humorlessly

“Jesus. I’m no better than those other Alphas that think their Omegas are property, am I? I just flat out decided what would be best for Stevie without even running the idea by him. Fuck.”

“No. I wouldn’t go that far, Xabs. You’re worried and it’s influencing your thinking at the moment. You’re worried. I’m worried and if he was my Omega...I’d be thinking along those lines too. It’s fine to be worried, but not fine to take autonomy away.”

Xabi sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose before he nodded and stood up to dump the empty contained into the garbage and put the spoon into the sink.

“Gotcha and thanks for the advice, Nando.You’re a good friend.”

Xabi clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past, leaving Nando to try and push all of the self-loathing that rose up at Xabi’s comment away.

~*~*~*~*~

Stevie shifted in bed and hissed when the kit kicked his ribs again. He rubbed his side and murmured a platitude to the kit before lying still and praying that it didn’t happen quite as often as it had been. Although he was sore, he couldn’t blame the kit for being restless. He himself was getting antsy to leave whenever the morning sickness abated enough to let him have some peace. He was hoping that maybe in a few days, he would be able to go home and hopefully start on the nursery and get it sorted out.

The doctors had been fairly pessimistic the last time that they had examined him and looked at his numbers and had told him in no uncertain terms that a longer stay would be in his best interest. He hadn’t been pleased, but had swallowed his pride and had submitted to the lines and the modified diet that he could grudgingly admit had helped. After a week and some, he wasn’t as exhausted, nor had he thrown up as much as he had in the beginning. He was getting optimistic, despite the doctor’s opinions not changing on the matter.

As of yet, but he was hoping that it would change once a full week of progress was looked at. He missed his flat. He missed his own bed. Above all, he missed being with Xabi in the privacy of their own home.

Stevie sighed and slipped his untethered arm under his head as he tried to push the melancholy away at the thought. Although Xabi was there with a kind word, look or kiss, he missed the intimacy of lying in the same bed together. He missed the closeness and the way that they could just touch and communicate without words. Yes, they still touched, they still embraced, but it was always overlaid with a layer of caution over his frail health at the moment. He didn’t want to be treated like fragile china. The crisis was over. His kitten was healthy and he was on his way to being the same old Stevie that he had always been.

He was damned if he was going to give into the fears that gnawed at him whenever he was alone or in the twilight of sleep. Fears that were unfounded with every sonogram and tests and kick from his kitten. He was nearly at five months and there was no change. His kitten was going to be fine. He was going to be fine. But the fears still came and he pushed them away in an exhausting cycle that Stevie was sure would last until the kitten was born.

“If she lived.” The dark, sharp part of his mind whispered, making him close his eyes as he fought to force that particular thought out of his mind. HIs kitten would live. She would live and be healthy and things would be good. They would all be home and life would move on again.

His hands clenched as he forced the cold, dark feeling in his gut to go away, only to be replaced by a painful series of jabs again. His kitten was shifting about something awful and Stevie knew it was due to his dark mood. Sighing, he moved a bit in bed and cradled his bump, murmuring soothing noises to it in hopes of the kitten finally settling down. It took a few minutes of this until the kitten was quiet and he could doze off.

“Stevie? Love?”

Stevie blinked awake, bewildered at being awakened after what felt like a few minutes of sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and smiled crookedly at Xabi, who had clearly just showered and smelled of cleanliness and mint shower gel.

“Hey. Did you have a good practice?” He asked raspily, making both of them wince and Xabi to reach over and pour him a glass of cold water.

“Yeah. We’re off to Ipswich for the next game. Did you have a good day then, love?”

Stevie nodded as he drank the water down and handed the glass over to Xabi, who put it back. He opened his mouth to speak, but groaned softly when their kitten decided to poke his ribs again. Xabi caught the wince and climbed into the bed, carefully gathering Stevie into his arms and caressing his bump to ease the discomfort and aches. He murmured a song in Basque as he did this, making Stevie melt into his embrace, and start purring.

They stayed like that until the doctors came into do their rounds and share the data that they had gathered during the week.

Xabi saw them and was about to pull away when they shook their heads. The youngest one simply pointed to her watch and held up her hand to signal five minutes while smiling before they all quietly departed. Xabi frowned, but the warmth of Stevie and the soothing sound of his purring, made him stay. He lay still and kissed Stevie’s forehead and belatedly noticed that this was the first time in all those weeks that Stevie had purred.

He smiled before kissing Stevie’s forehead again. Maybe Nando had been right and he had been jumping the gun and it was all for nothing. Maybe it was all going to turn around now. Stevie’s purring gave him hope that it would be. He was sure of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Stevie gave the nursery one last look before nodding in satisfaction at the results. Although it had been a last minute effort between Xabi, Ollala and the rest of Stevie’s family to get it done before Stevie’s due date, it was all that Stevie had in mind while being in stuck in the hospital. Despite being sure that he was going to have a kitten, he had taken Xabi’s advice and painted the nursery in soft shades of green and put up Peter Rabbit prints, just in case. Although they had wanted to find out, the last two sonograms had been inconclusive so they just opted to wait until Stevie would give birth.

“Not long now.” He murmured to his bump, which had grown large enough for him to look as if he had swallowed a watermelon and to waddle whenever he walked, his hips finally becoming loose enough. Not a moment too soon, it seemed, since he was starting to have pains on and off. Despite it being soon, Stevie wasn’t sure if he was truly ready. The physical discomfort aside, he was starting to have doubts. Doubts that his dam had told him were perfectly normal. Especially since his pregnancy hadn’t been an easy one.

“It’s to be expected, love. But as soon as that little one appears, everything will be right as rain. You’ll see.”

That had been the byword in his family. As soon as the kitten would be born, things would get better. The slight tension and worry would all disappear once they had the kit with them. He shook his head and walked out of the nursery, not wanting to taint it with his dark and worried thoughts. Closing the door behind him, he slowly made his way over to the bedroom.

He had left a book there that had somehow managed to keep his attention despite most of it being diverted to the setting up of the nursery, spending time with his dam and Xabi and receiving his cousins and other relatives. It was a welcome escape and he was looking forward to it.

At least that was all that he recalled after stepping into the bedroom and being blindsided by a sharp, ripping pain that had him breathless and falling to his knees before blackness overtook his vision.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was all a swirling mass of agony, blankness, and muffled sounds for ages until he was finally able to swim out of those eddies of confusion into consciousness. He had heard muffled voices and once, a sharp, high cry. But nothing was strong enough to force him awake until it was all silent and he was able to open his eyes and breathe a sigh of relief at seeing his Xabi sleeping right next to his bed. Xabi’s hand was, despite the deep sleep that Stevie could see was desperately needed, wrapped tightly around his.

He shifted slightly in bed and gave out a soft cry as the movement pulled at stitches and sore and torn muscles. He hadn’t meant to cry out, but he had and that had been enough to wake Xabi up.  Xabi, who only took a second to orient himself and shout in joy at seeing him awake.

“Stevie! Oh thank God! Stevie! You’re back! Stevie!”

Xabi exclaimed, bringing Carra and Nando and his dam and sire into the room, all of them looking drawn and distraught and relieved that he was awake.

Although he was glad to see them, his only concern was his kitten. Pushed by that impulse, he gritted his teeth against the pain and fought to sit up to get her, wherever she was. Already, he knew she wasn’t inside him, the pain and the emptiness of her presence alerting him to that fact.

“Where is-”

“He’s in the NICU, Stevie.” Xabi interrupted him, making Stevie’s eyes widen.

“But...Is…”

“It was a kit all along, love. He’s small and he had a bit of trouble breathing, that’s why he’s there. But he will be fine, they said...Stevie...Stevie...Oh God...STEVIE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of a time jump here due to the simple fact that the troubles and strain between Stevie and Xabi are getting harder to cope with as the pregnancy and then the troubled birth of their kit happens. I don't want to draw it out much longer and I wanted to show the crux of their problems and the foundation of the separation happens. 
> 
> Stevie feels like he is going to have a girl, so he keeps on referring to his kit as such, despite inconclusive evidence for it to happen. He's not biased either way. He just wants a healthy kit after all that he's gone through. Xabi is the same and is only concerned for his Omega, even if he does get a bit overbearing in that concern. 
> 
> Nando is the voice of reason and he's slowly moving towards the realization that he's being unfair in his own life. I am planning on hopefully covering the situations leading up to the split and pulling this story in the original time line of the others and having a coda for the present time or so. But that is a loose plan. 
> 
> Either way, thanks for reading. Title is from Pompeii. Proofed and will be fixed if errors appear.


	8. Something's Got To Give And It Always Does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the kit's born, it should be easier. Unfortunately, it never is and it pushes Stevie and Xabi to the brink.

“God, please, love! What is it? What do you need?”

Stevie murmured frantically to the little scrap of humanity that was currently squalling on his chest, the cries pitiful and piercing as Stevie tried to figure out what his kit wanted. He hummed a lullaby as he walked back and forth in the nursery before putting him down on the changing table.

“Nope, you’re all clean. I just fed you. So what is it, Jonny?” Stevie asked the kit a tad frantically, receiving nothing but another loud shriek for his troubles.

Stevie sighed and picked up Jonny before he cried himself into a fit and shushed him, holding him tight until the cries finally turned into whimpers and he finally sighed heavily before grunting and rooting into Stevie’s chest. Chuckling softly in resignation or relief, Stevie couldn’t tell anymore, he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it aside to let Jonny latch on. Once he had, Stevie closed his eyes before making his way to the rocking chair and sitting down.

He needed that bit of a pause and closed his eyes as he gently rocked Jonny, hoping that after feeding, he’d slip off into sleep and give them both a break. Although he loved his kit, he couldn’t help the slight edge of panicky desperation that got worse and worse with each passing day. He didn’t want to even acknowledge it, but it was there and Stevie knew that he was going to have to address it before it tore them all apart.

It had been hard, those first three months after Jonny’s birth, with him being a bit small and the breathing problems. Stevie himself had taken a long while to heal and Xabi...Poor Xabi had been frantically trying to keep everything together until Stevie and Jonny (Jon Paul Arnets, but he was much too young to carry such a name yet) were able to come home. Then Jonny had turned out to be fussy and needy and slowly, before Stevie could even figure out it was happening, Xabi was no longer in the picture as he had been in the past. He knew that the divide was getting wider with every day that they spent apart. He knew that there was something else that was wrong with Jonny.  He knew that he needed to talk to Xabi before he lost him permanently.

The problem was he didn’t know who to ask, really. His dam had distanced herself from him and he couldn’t understand or have the energy to know why. He had tried at first, when the christening needed to be sorted out and prepared for. But there was a silence there that he finally had to step away from. It had been a good thing that his aunt, Ollala and Carra had stepped in, or else Jonny wouldn’t have been acknowledged and christened at all.

Once the christening was done, everything faded into the routine that he had been in and he hadn’t the strength or the knowledge to ask for help. Or from who. Despite having a nurse coming in twice a week, she always seemed cold and brusque enough that he didn’t dare voice all of his fears and doubts. He also didn’t bring it up with Xabi, who was always frustrated and irritated at having to talk to him. The only time that they did interact, they would end up screaming in whispers until either one just walked out of the room to not see each other until much later. Much later, conversation was murmured apologies before they fumbled under the duvet and made furtive love and falling asleep to repeat the cycle over again.

He felt the tears pricking at his eyes at the fact that there was almost nothing left of the relationship he had shared with Xabi at the beginning, when everything looked fresh and new with promise. He had honestly thought that the worst was over once Jonny was out of the hospital and he had healed. He had thought that Xabi was going to stick around and Jon was going to be a happy and smiling kit. Instead, he had gotten distance and a fussy kit who hadn’t ever purred since he was born. Ever.

As if conjured up by his thoughts, Jonny began to fuss against him. Stevie’s eyes opened just enough to let him see what he was doing and switched sides, wincing when Jonny’s toothless gums clamped onto his sore nipple and the milk flowed out. Once he was properly latched on, Stevie closed his eyes and went back to settling into his half-ruminating, half-dose. This time though, he wasn’t going to think about how everything had gone so wrong in such a short space of time.

He does ask himself bitterly if this is what being mated really was about: Long hours of loneliness and solitude, a deep fear of ineptness in dealing with his kit and the possibility of their mating being over before it really began. His breath catches in his throat at the thought of Xabi walking away permanently and it is then that the tears he’d been suppressing for months finally break through. He wiped them away, but it was a fruitless effort. They just kept coming and coming, coursing down his face until he reached up with one of Jonny’s flannels and wiped them away. He held on to it in case he just didn’t stop crying and sat in the rocking chair, nursing Jonny until his kit had had his fill and needed to be burped.

Once that was done and Jonny finally was exhausted enough to sleep, Stevie moved them to the bed and crawled in. He was careful to surround his kit with pillows so that he wouldn’t be crushed or worse, roll over and fall off the bed. It was only when Jonny was deeply asleep that he let himself sink into a deep sleep that was desperately needed. It wasn’t just his body that was tired, but his mind. Stevie hadn’t felt this drained, this defeated, since that day when he was just a kit himself and the news came pouring in about his cousin and all those people.

He should have been on top of the world, so why did it feel like he had been sentenced to hell?

~*~*~*~*

Jamie was actually surprised that he was inviting Xabi out for a pint after practice when he could have been spending time with his new Omega or his dam and sire. But the news he had gotten through the grapevine about Xabi had spurred him into action. He wasn’t really an altruist, but he really cared about Stevie and he wasn’t about to let anyone else hurt him. Especially not when he was at his lowest and in need of protection as well.

He knew that things between Stevie and Xabi were rocky as all out and it didn’t look like they were on the mend. Xabi was looking sallow and worn out as as hell and he barely spoke about the kit or Stevie. The last time anyone had tried to talk to him about it he had simply growled and abruptly ended the conversation. Only Nando had managed to somehow get through to Xabi, but he had taken to avoiding Nando whenever he could.

The idea that Stevie was isolated and suffering didn’t sit well with him. Stevie had yearned desperately for a family and a kit and he didn’t deserve the isolation and anguish that was happening. He had tried to contact Stevie’s dam and sire, but had been brushed off. Paul was away in Newcastle, so all Jamie could do was leave messages and hope for the best.

So far, Paul had remained silent and Jamie was at his wit’s end.

That was the only reason why he was taking Xabi out even when knowing full well that the last thing the other Alpha wanted as to be in the same car as Jamie, never mind sharing a pint at the local watering hole.

“Jesus, Xabi, lighten up for love of God! You’d think I was taking you to your own funeral.”

Xabi tried to scowl at Jamie, but only bit his lip and shook his head in irritation as he grabbed the pint and skimmed off a good quarter of it before he spoke.

“Don’t tell me you’d be any happier if you were in my position, Carra.” Xabi muttered as he wiped his mouth off with a napkin and finally really looked at Carra dead on.

Carra snorted at that. “I would be. Even with all the shite that you went through. I fucked up and Stevie’s not mine. I’d be an idiot to try and fight you over him again, even though I’m sorely tempted, with the way things are going between you two. But even without a fight, I’m not going to walk away and just leave him to wallow into his own mind.”

He took a long pull of his pint before he continued.

“That also means I wouldn’t take the coward’s way out and hightail it to Madrid.”

Xabi flinched as if he had been slapped, his mouth opening and closing until he finally a strangled sound before finally being able to speak again.

“I’m not leaving him, if that’s what you think.”

“It sure looks like it from here. So why the hell are you thinking of doing it, then?”

“Have you seen Stevie? I mean actually visited him? He’s not the same. He’s gone so deep inside of himself that I feel like I’m living with a ghost. We can’t talk to each other without fighting. Nothing I say gets through to him. He shies away from me and is so wrapped up in my kit that he’s pushed me away completely.I barely get to hold Arnets. He’s alone and he’s hurting...I know that. I...I...I just don’t know how to help him other than walking away and giving him some space.”

Xabi finally burst out, his eyes flashing gold and his cheeks flushed with hectic crimson. Carra blinked and drank some more as he tried to get his thoughts sorted out. It had been the longest piece he had ever heard Xabi say in the months that he had known the other Alpha and that was worrying enough in itself. What was even more so was the depth of emotion that had finally burst forth. It was as bad as he had expected, but not a lost cause if Xabi had consented to go out with him and was talking about it rather than just drinking in silence. It was a small thing, but it was something that he could work with.

“I can tell you from experience that’s not the best or right way to go about it. You leave, you might as well call it quits with him permanently. Stevie might be introspective, but he’s not one to do well on his own. You’d gut him. I know it gutted him when I walked out and I’m not proud of what I did. He at least found you right after and I’m glad, despite what happened between us after.”

Carragher took a sip of his pint and licked his lips as he debated telling Xabi what he had learned after being with Stevie. It had been told in confidence, despite the drunken earnestness and the seeming forgetfulness that came the morning after. But Jaime never forgot what he had been told and it haunted him, knowing that Stevie had seen himself in that way for so damned long. It had been nearly forgotten when Xabi had come along, more or less. Now that Xabi was planning to take off, he couldn’t remain quiet about it.

“Look, you’re going to do whatever you feel is right for you at this time, based on what you know what to do. It’s funny that I should just be encouraging you to take off so I can have a chance with him.”

Xabi stiffened and glowered at Carragher, who held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“The thing is that I know Stevie as well, or maybe better than you do. I also know that for him, being left by his Alpha is what he’s deeply afraid of and always expecting. It’s not rational and unfounded, but ever since the first Alpha he had feelings for died when he was young.”

Xabi frowned, then looked down as red crept across the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t-”

“No one really does. I doubt he even remembers whether he told me. It must have been the anniversary. He never brought it up again after that. So yeah. That’s it. Now you know all the variables, I hope that figures into your decision.”

Carragher fell silent and Xabi shook his head, biting his lip as he brought the last of his pint up to his lips and drained it.

“I don’t want to take off permanently. I love him. I love my kit. But how can I stay if I’m just superfluous when he’s trying to deal with a screaming and fussy kit?”

Jaime plunked his glass down and looked at Xabi in disbelief.

“Where the hell is his dam? Your dam? No wonder why he’s going round the bend!”

“His dam...I don’t know why, but neither his dam or sire have come to see Arnets. My parents are both betas. They didn’t take me being an Alpha and taking an English Omega that well, to be honest. We don’t really have that many options. Ollala’s a Beta and busy with her own life and Nando and I had a bit of a falling out.”

Xabi muttered the last part and had the grace to look embarrassed as he did so. Carragher didn’t even notice and pulled out his mobile. He scrolled through his contacts before he came up with the number he was looking for and called it.

“Paul? Yeah. How are you? Good. Listen, I’m calling on Xabi’s behalf. He’s worried about Stevie, so can you get your Auntie Mary or your cousin to see him and Jonny? The sooner the better would be great. You know how that goes. Your Auntie will do it? Grand.”

He hung up and gave Xabi a pointed look.

“I’ll stand you another one while Paul and his Auntie Mary get it sorted out. You probably need it more than you think.”

Xabi snorted, but didn’t protest as he pushed his glass over and Carragher signalled the barmaid for two more.

“Cheers.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Ah, Love, drink the cup of tea already. He’s not going to be in any trouble. Now drink the damned tea. I cleaned up the kitchen and set up the tea while you were in the bath, so please love, drink it.”

His Auntie Mary coaxed him as she held Jonny, who was miraculously silent and swaddled up tightly so that only his head poked out. He was watching Stevie with sleepy hazel eyes and busily sucking on a dummy that Auntie Mary had brought with her. He was calm and Stevie couldn’t help but to feel relieved that was the case.

Although he had been utterly dumbfounded when his Auntie had called him to warn him of her arrival, he hadn’t been as grateful as he had been at that exact time. He had nearly cried when she had swaddled a squalling Jonny and he had fallen silent only with the occasional whimpers. She had then shoved him into the bath and told him to take as long as he liked and she would take care of everything.

Once he was cleaned up and feeling more like himself than he had in ages, he had tried to take Jonny back from his Aunt, but she had firmly refused and instead had him sit down and eat. Just like she had when he had been a kit himself and he recalled all too clearly that she hadn’t budged then and probably wouldn’t budge now either.

“Stevie, sit down. Stop fighting me lad and take the damned break.”

Stevie flushed, feeling like he was eleven again and staying over at his Auntie Mary’s for the weekend when his cousin was-He stopped that thought dead and instead sat down at the place his Auntie had set for him for tea. Something that he hadn’t had the luxury of having since he had started to breed. He sighed in relief at the hot, milky tea and the sandwiches in front of him and took a few bites of the first one. He closed his eyes in bliss. He never thought that plain butter, ham and cucumber could taste so good.

He didn’t talk and neither did his Aunt Mary as he ate until he was sated and was working on the tea. All that time, Jonny had placidly sucked on his dummy until he had finally fallen asleep and his Aunt placed him in the basket by her feet. He didn’t make a peep and was dead to the world.

“He looks like his namesake”  Aunt Mary murmured as she sipped at her own tea. Her eyes got a bit misty, but she shook it off quickly. Stevie buried his nose in his own mug and waited until he was sure she was in control of herself to look up. Although it was an old grief, it had the tendency to sharpen and looking at Jonny had made it even more frequent, especially when it struck him at how much it would hurt if he ever lost Jonny.

“But at least he’s not colicky. You dodged a bullet there. He’s just needing to feel a bit secure. Your dam...She should have shown you that. But at least it’s not too late and you haven’t gone around the bend yet. I’m going to take him this weekend, let you and Xabi actually have sometime to yourselves before you both fall apart.”

Stevie frowned and was about to open his mouth and protest when his Aunt shook her head.

“Stevie, love, you need the time apart from Jonny. You’re this close to being a wreck.I’m willing to lay at least fifty pounds and that you only have been concerned with this little one and lord help you if you lie. I’ve seen the evidence. I know he’s your first kit, but Xabi is your mate and you can’t just push him out of the equation now that Jonny’s here. That’s not fair to him or you, considering how lonely you were before you found your true-mate.”

Stevie lowered his gaze to his cup and tried to not let the feelings of guilt and shame overwhelm him. She was right. He had barely connected with Xabi ever since Jonny was born. He hadn’t contradicted him in the choice of names. Hadn’t really talked to him other than to have hissed arguments and furtive fumblings in the dark.

She was right

He and Xabi needed to reconnect before it was too late.


	9. I Keep Looking For The Man I Fell In Love With

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie and his Auntie talk and formulate a plan of attack before Xabi comes home, which he does and the talk is finally had. What has been bubbling under the surface comes out and a decision is finally reached.

Xabi had entered the strangely silent and still house and a strong feeling of foreboding gripped him. Despite still carrying a bit of the buzz of the pints consumed earlier, he refused to give into his fears and tear the house apart to find Stevie and Arnets. He was all too painfully aware of how much effort was needed from Stevie to keep their kit calm and fed and he felt as if he really couldn’t bring anything to the table, since he was away practicing and trying to find his slot in the line-ups now that Stevie was on leave.

He had applied for a leave, but it wouldn’t come through until Arnets was five months old and he dreaded when the time came. He was all too aware of the chances that were slipping through his fingers the longer that he stayed away. He knew that Carra and Nando were picking up his slack where Stevie was concerned, yet he couldn’t figure out how to fix the situation. He hated himself for the fact that all he could do was hold a kit he felt barely a connection to and occasionally connect with an Omega that was growing distant everyday.

His heart started to race as he walked through the silent kitchen, worries about Arnets and Stevie blooming and fading when he saw the bright blue post it note in the middle of the table that read: “Stevie’s sleeping. Jonny’s with his aunt and brother until Tuesday. You guys need a breather. Use it wisely.” It was unsigned, but he knew it was Nando that had written it and he was grateful for the heads-up before he did something drastic. Breathing a sigh of relief, he kept on moving through the flat.

Having that firmly in his mind, he walked towards the bedroom, where he found Stevie curled up on his side, his face pink and calm in sleep. The sight of him so at ease and relaxed made Xabi flinch.It had been too damned long since that was a regular sight to come home to. He tried to recall when in recent memory he had seen Stevie so unguarded and with his face smoothed out from all the worry lines and frowns that had taken an almost permanent place on his face ever since they had brought Arnets home.

This was the man he had chosen to mate and had, during the time since then, fallen in love with. This was also the man that he had to re-connect with before they turned into virtual strangers and he chose the coward’s way out and fled to Spain to lick his wounds. He knew that he couldn’t give up. Not that easily. He would be a right idiot and give up all the happiness that had eluded him ever since he was a kid looking for questions that seemed to have no real answers.

Xabi debated waking Stevie up and starting the process of mending the badly frayed connection between them, but after watching Stevie sleep for a few moments he decided against it. Instead, he peeled off his stale and stiff clothing and crawled into bed beside his mate. There would be plenty of time for conversations. There was no need for him to spoil Stevie’s sleep.

Xabi loosely wrapped his arm around Stevie’s middle and closed his eyes, willing for sleep to come to him. Once it had, he was jostled out of it by Stevie’s burrowing deeper into his embrace. Stevie murmured something sleepily and Xabi only pressed his nose into his hair and shushed him before they both sank deep into sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

Stevie woke up from a series of disjointed, but pleasant dreams to realize that he wasn’t alone as he usually was in his bed. In fact, he was almost too warm and there was something heavy wrapped around his middle. Blinking, he turned to find out what it was that was holding his middle and came face to face with Xabi. His Xabi, deeply asleep and plastered against him like they used to do before the distance grew so large between them.

He stared at Xabi for a few moments longer, the discomfort all but forgotten as he sank back against Xabi and relished the almost forgotten sensation of simply being in Xabi’s arms. All too often, he had woken up to find Xabi already gone and he would be left in a cold, empty bed and already scrambling up to tend to a whining kit in the next room. He sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that his Aunt Mary was taking good care of Jonny and he wasn’t going to act like an overly attached and paranoid Omega the moment that their kit was out of their sight. He did have to admit to himself that he was tempted to text or call his aunt.

But he also knew that it was simply guilt and the desire to put off the inevitable that was looming ahead. They needed the time to themselves and to see where they were going to go from there. Hopefully, this would be the start to strengthening their ties to each other and figuring out what they could do with Jonny now that he knew what else was wrong with the kit himself.  He had been utterly grateful and dumbfounded at how much the separation from his dam and sire and Xabi’s own family had affected his kit and his own mental state.

“Your mother did you a disservice, cowering into her own fears and leaving you to hang. She shouls have known better. Well, all of us should have. The NHS hasn’t ever really been worth much for Omegas and nesting needs.”

His aunt had explained as she had shown him how to swaddle Jonny, who had completely quieted down and blinked wet, hazy eyes up at them when his Aunt Mary was finished. She had picked Jonny up then and patted him on the back gently as she continued talking.

“Betas really don’t know much about the nesting and the family unit, so Xabi’s family wouldn’t have helped you out much there. Maybe once they meet this little guy. Yes, once they meet you, things will be grand with both of you. Yes, they will.”

She cooed at Jonny, who burped and smiled at the both of them. Once that happened, Mary turned to Stevie and eyed him critically, taking in the dark rings under his eyes, the hollowness of his stubbled cheeks and the hopelessness stamped all over him. Even his scent was off, with just a bit of sourness from how low he was feeling at that time.

“As for you, I’m glad that you have good friends looking out for you. Even though you weren’t meant to be with Jamie, at least he had enough sense to call Paul and I, with your dam and sire being useless after the hospital. I’ll be around more love, so that you can have some time with your Alpha and both of you can do more than yowl at each other when not shagging.”

Stevie flushed, but didn’t bother commenting in outrage at his aunt’s pointed commentary when he had heard much worse in the locker room during his career. Much worse, in fact. This was nothing compared to all that.

Her face softened and she reached out to squeeze his shoulder.

“You’re not the first it’s happened to, Stevie-lad. You won’t be the last. Mark and I, we had similar after your-”

She broke off and took a deep breath, the pain still strong despite all the years that had passed between the tragedy of losing her kit and now. Stevie looked down and tried to swallow down his own corresponding grief over the loss of a cousin and so many potential possibilities that could have arisen if he hadn’t died so young.

They stood in silence as they remembered him, giving each other to come to terms with their own grief before Mary continued on.

“Then Joey came along and it nearly tore me and your Uncle Mark apart. If it hadn’t been for your grandsire and granddam, we would have split ages ago. They helped us out when I was at my wit’s end with Joey and Mark was ready to just take off. They gave us enough time to sit with him and really talk to each other and go from there.”

Mary smiled a terse smile before giving Stevie’s shoulder one last squeeze and focusing her attention onto the kit, who was strangely peaceful and was simply watching and quietly purring to himself. At the sound, Stevie had to swallow. He hadn’t heard that sound come from Jonny without much effort being put into making it happen.

“You need to talk to each other, lad. You can’t just let him walk away. There’s a lot of talk already and he’s your true-mate. That’s worth fighting for.”

“What if he doesn’t think so? What do I do then? It’s not like he’s been-”

“Then you move on and raise this kit and teach it that it can survive and carry on without an Alpha. But until then, you do your part. You can’t control what Xabi will do.Just focus on your part. And taking a bath. You stink to high heaven, love.”

He was forced out of his reverie when  he heard Xabi shifting behind him, making sleepy morning noises as he moved. He turned and was greeted by Xabi smiling sleepily at him as his grip tightened around Stevie’s waist.

“Morning, love. It’s been awhile.” Xabi murmured, cutting the distance and kissing Stevie’s neck right above his claiming bite and making Stevie breathe in sharply as desire, just clean and pure desire, coiled up in his gut. This was different than the other times they had since Jonny had been born. Most of those had been angry couplings, almost devoid of any tenderness between them. But this, this felt exactly how they had been since the beginning: gentle, yearning and with the intent to come closer as a mates.

Taking Stevie’s reaction as encouragement, Xabi changed their positions so that Stevie was underneath him before he sucked on the marking scar, making Stevie moan softly and his eyes flutter. His cock stiffened and Xabi made a small humming noise as he sucked harder, eliciting more moans and Stevie wrapping his arms around Xabi’s shoulders and pulling him closer to rub his erection against Xabi’s own. The friction made both of them groan and Xabi’s teeth to graze at Stevie’s skin. They kept on moving against each other, the feeling of their bodies against each other being enough to make them get that close to the edge.

Stevie was so close that he could feel his balls tightening up in anticipation when Xabi somehow got him to spread his legs. Stevie was pulled briefly from the edge and made a small sound as Xabi’s fingers found their way inside.

“Want to have you.” Xabi growled in his ear before the fingers slipped out easily and Xabi was inside like he hadn’t been in months past. They moved against each other as smoothly as through water, the outside world gone as they rediscovered the cartography of each other’s bodies, the act neglected for such a long time. Xabi whispered to him, the sounds unintelligible to Stevie. But he could gather the tone behind them and he mewled in response, the orgasm that he had been denied earlier building up in him again and cresting into waves that crashed over both of them, leaving them screaming and gasping once they broke.

“I missed you.” Xabi whispered, kissing Stevie’s temple before he claimed his mate’s mouth, laughing softly as Stevie purred in response. It had been too long since he heard that sound as well. They lay in each other’s arms for a bit before Stevie’s stomach started to growl and his hips started protesting the extra weight of an Alpha on him.

Xabi frowned, but reluctantly got up. He didn’t want to break the peace between them so soon. He knew that there would come time enough for that once they got cleaned up and went to get breakfast. Stevie knew that himself, it was obvious by the way that he grabbed a shirt and pulled it on, only doing up a few buttons to be covered a bit.

“I won’t be long.” He stated softly.

“I’ll start tea then. Toast and eggs?” Xabi asked calmly, despite his heart hammering in his chest at the upcoming conversation. Stevie nodded as he slipped out of the bed and made a beeline to the bathroom.

~*~*~*~*~

“So what the hell are we doing, Xabi? What’s next?”

Xabi choked on his tea with the bluntness of the question, but he was far too relieved that Stevie was being blunt about the situation. They had been dancing around the situation far too damned long and he was glad that he wasn’t the one bringing the problem forth. Last couple of times he had tried, he had just made everything worse. So despite wanting to lay out all of the ideas that he had plotted out in his mind after talking to Carra, he refrained from saying them and instead, thought out his answer carefully.

“What do you want, Stevie? Because I’ll be honest: I don’t really know how I can be of help here with you and Ar-Jonny. I just don’t know and I don’t want to tell you what to do and get into another fight. So what do you want? What can I do to help?”

“I want you to stay. I want you to hold me and tell me that it will be alright. I want you to take Jonny when I need some time. I want you to listen to me when I need someone to talk to and not tell me what to do. I don’t want for this to break. Not when we’ve come this far. I want us to talk and I want us to get some help.”

Stevie got out in a rush, his eyes darting nervously around the kitchen as he listed his demands to his Alpha, something he never thought he would have ever done. Although he was sure that it would work out and that Xabi wasn’t like other Alphas, it was still weird for him to assert his needs and decisions to Xabi.

Xabi who took a long sip of his tea and swallowed it down slowly, his eyes focused inward as he listened to Stevie. He swallowed his tea and nodded.

Although it was fast and a sort of attack, Xabi didn’t mind. At least it wasn’t the muted and soft screaming he had been subjected to months before. At least he knew exactly what Stevie was thinking and feeling and what he wanted. At last, he was finally seeing Stevie. Not an Omega tightly wound after breeding a kit. But his Stevie. His mate.

It was this and this alone that kept him from getting angry and going Alpha and demanding. Instead, he bit the inside of his cheek and forced himself to calm down before he spoke.

“Who did you have in mind to go to?”

Stevie breathed a sigh of quiet relief before he reached over to the card that his Aunt Mary had tucked into his wallet and handed it over to Xabi so he could see the name of the Beta counselor.

Xabi read the name and nodded before putting it down on the table. Although it wasn’t sitting well with him, he was willing to give that concession. Drinking with Carra was a great outlet, but if they were truly to fix it all up, they needed an impartial and professional ear with suggestions that would provide long lasting results.

“I’m willing to do this, Stevie. I want all of this. But I also do want for us to get either your Auntie or a nanny to help out with the kit. I’m worried about you building your world around the kit only. I miss you. I miss talking to you.I love you, but I want to be with my Stevie, not just my mate. I want you and Jonny and this. But-”

Stevie looked at him and swallowed hard, his smile looking more like a rictus than a smile in his white face.

“Give us six months, Xabi. Six months to make this work. And if it doesn’t...You can go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoah man. This was a hard one to write again, since it's a painful deconstruction of a relationship that I swear will work out in the end. I also have been finding no time to write it and being drained from the general shenanigans that go on in life. But I did and I swear that it will be resolved happily in two chapters. 
> 
> I know that I had Stevie get advice and Xabi be more quiet and listen, but I figured that Xabi wasn't doing much of that because he wanted to fix things and was doing the best that he could, but wasn't quite sure exactly how to go about it. Stevie's finally gotten somewhere, so he figures that he will step back and listen to see where they can go from there. 
> 
> So again, thanks for the patience. I am trying to finish this (Almost no free time and when I do write, I have had people walk by and glance at my screen, so I'm nixing that) as quickly as I can. But yes, homestretch, grief and reconciliation coming up.
> 
> Proofed, but if mistakes appear they will be fixed. Title is a pseudo reference to "Heartbeat" by Childish Gambino.


	10. Radio Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The World Cup has kicked off, putting Xabi and Stevie in the position of thinking over their earlier decisions and choices. Xabi also finds himself unwittingly becoming the voice of reason regarding Iker and Cesc and what happens after. All this while being expected to help win a World Cup Title. No pressure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 and the story is slowly starting to draw to a close and come full circle with the World Cup and the other couples that also have their own things going on-Cesc and Iker and Sergio and Nando. We don't see too much of them, but they do make their cameos. 
> 
> The timelines have been majorly messed around with, hence Liverpool winning the Champion's League in 2009 and Xabi's team movement coming slightly after. 
> 
> Proofed, but minor mistakes may have crept through. Title refers to 65daysofstatic, since they were part of the soundtrack for this chapter.

He and Iker were one of the first to get out of the plane when it landed and he had to wince at the intensity of the sun and the heat that rolled over them in waves. Already, he could see the haze as they made their way into the Johannesburg airport and winced at what it would feel like when they set foot outside. It was true that Spain’s weather wasn’t exactly cold, but this was South Africa and something else entirely. He could only hope that the heat would deter the less savoury members of the press from harassing Stevie when he would arrive with the team. He had already perfected the thick skin he needed to deal with the tabloids and was sure Stevie had as well, but he never liked seeing his Omega be verbally attacked by seedy reporters. Especially the ones from the scum.

Xabi frowned and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about that again. It had been bad enough to live through it the last couple of months after winning the Euro and the loan to Real Madrid. Reliving it nearly a year later wasn’t that much fun either. Especially now that Stevie was put on the sublist after Alazne Mary Isobel was born in late May. It was basically a symbolic gesture that he had even travelled with the team, the kit being so young that it was still nursing and needing a nanny whenever Stevie wasn’t around.

Xabi knew he wasn’t the favourite of England at that time. In fact, he was sure that at some point, he must have been burned in effigy or something. He had stayed away from the reports, but they had still trickled through about all of the things that he had been called and all of his supposed sins. He figured that with the World Cup, his worst one was getting Stevie with kit before the most important tournament

“As if I’m that cold-blooded or that much of a playmaker.”  He had snorted to Iker as they had sat in their shared room, hiding out from their other teammates after they had gotten settled and declining their offers to go out to dinner or to check out the nightlife. The tabloids had been waiting for him and it had taken all of his self-control to not snap at them when he had gotten into Iker’s waiting car and sped off, ditching them after a few creative shortcuts from Iker to do so.

Iker had snorted and pushed a large mug of cola cao towards Xabi, who picked it up and slurped down the chocolatey drink and forgot to feel self-conscious at doing so. Drinking wouldn’t help in this situation and he was glad that Iker was that good of a friend and was giving him something that would be comforting, but not make him maudlin and regretful the next morning.

Even if it did feel like he was seven years old and drinking chocolate milk under the watchful eye of his Captain and Team Alpha. If it was the due that he had to pay, so be it.

“They’re just mad that they’re going to get creamed. Again. I wouldn’t worry about it.” Iker assured him as he also drank down his own mug of cola cao.

They drank their drinks in silence before Iker finally decided to break the silence between them.

“How is Steve doing? Is he holding up okay?”

Iker asked delicately, knowing how hard it was the first time that they had bred and the strain that it had placed on both of them. Despite trying, they hadn’t been able to reach a compromise with each other, the strain of a new kit on the way breaking anything that they had been able to build. They had tried. Iker had and Carragher and Nando had seen it all. They had helped as much as they could, Iker being pulled into it after he and Xabi had stayed up late after a national call up and had somehow ended up sharing their woes over their respective Omegas: Iker and his not so subtle crush on Cesc and Xabi and his despair over it possibly being over with Stevie.

Xabi lowered his mug and smiled crookedly, a wistfulness in his eyes whenever he thought about or mentioned Stevie that told Iker that things were far from over between those two.  They may have been driven apart by circumstance, but Iker didn’t see that lasting. They would return to each other. They just needed to be patient for that time to arrive.

“He’s doing well and he’s just telling them to piss off and mind their own business. They’re not going after him out of a modicum of decency. Alazne’s too damned young for them to get near her, so we have that going for us at least,” His expression darkened a bit before continuing, “Besides, I already told them that it would be better if they desisted. Most have taken the hint. Considering I sent enough warnings personal and professional through the team’s lawyers.”

Iker raised an eyebrow at that. “You’ve gone all out, haven’t you?”

Xabi grimaced. “I can’t be there to protect my Omega and kits all the time. I need to take other precautions to make certain the worst of that lot is kept away.”

Iker made a noncommittal noise as he got up to get more Cola-Cao for himself and for Xabi, who was looking at the bottom of his mug with a forbidding expression on his face. As if the Cola-Cao were the face of the tabloids and they were personally offending him.  Iker could understand that. He felt the same way whenever he saw Cesc and that cloth-wrapped bracelet around his skinny wrist. He sometimes felt so enraged that he could barely breathe and felt like he was being useless in not being able to keep the world from hurting the Omega he loved.

He sighed as he moved the pot and nudged Xabi to move so that he could pour out more. Xabi hummed quietly in pleasure and gratitude as he lifted the now warm mug to his lips and drank a quarter down before Iker had a chance to sit down across from him. Iker laughed softly and sipped at it, savouring the taste as it went down in a smooth line.

“I know the feeling. If I could keep all those dangers away from Cesc...I’d do the same thing.”

Xabi’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Despite knowing how Iker felt by parsing it from reading between the lines and putting it all together from oblique references and how Iker’s eyes turned gold at the edges whenever he saw Cesc. Although it was clear Iker felt the pull of Cesc toward him, this was the first time that Xabi had heard Iker actually voice his feelings out loud. It was a start and it was also painful to hear, since it brought home the distance between himself and family. Despite the amicable separation and the open channels of communication between them ever since he had bid Stevie a tearful goodbye, he missed them desperately.

It was a pulsing need in him sometimes, to be next to Stevie and have his kits around him. It was a hunger that he could blunt whenever he visited, but was always there and wouldn’t ever really disappear. He could see the it reflected in Stevie’s eyes whenever they said goodbye. Most people thought that they were broken and that it was all over between them. There was speculation that Carragher would move onto that territory, but Xabi didn’t pay them any mind. He and Stevie knew the truth. It wasn’t over between them. Despite everything that had happened, it wasn’t done.

Xabi would make sure of that. He was already setting up the pieces and with a little luck, he would be returning. Smarter and wiser and ready to rebuild their life together on a much more solid foundation than before. He couldn’t stay away from Stevie that much longer. Especially not now that Alazne was there. No Omega and Alpha could produce a kit if the bond was badly damaged or broken. He had to go back.

“Are you ever going to claim him then? I mean...It’s painfully obvious that you both have feelings for each other. He may even be your alma. So will you claim him?”

Iker’s face flushed bright pink at the question and he buried his nose into his cup, making Xabi roll his eyes and mutter under his breath.

“Iker...I may not be the best Alpha to give advice considering my circumstances...But I will and what I will tell you is that you shouldn’t always let logic dictate everything you do. Especially not with him. Don’t let the chance pass you by until it’s too late. He can’t wait for you.”

Iker lowered his cup and shrugged, but he wouldn’t meet Xabi’s eyes.

“Do you regret doing exactly that? Even with all that you have to deal with right now?”

Xabi eyes glowed gold and he shook his head without wasting time.

“Never. Especially when the odds were stacked against us. We got thrown together by crazy circumstances. I would have missed being his Alpha if I had presented another way. Or if Carragher hadn’t deserted him. Or if I had stayed in Spain. We have our problems, I won’t deny that. We are stretched to the breaking point and sometimes I worry we won’t ever come back to it. But the connection is always there and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

He drank the rest of the Cola-Cao and went to the sink to rinse out his mug before leaving it in the sink and walking back to Iker, who was sitting still and chewing on his lip, no doubt weighing Xabi’s words.

He sat down again and felt his phone vibrate with a message. Frowning, he pulled it out and looked at the message flashing on the screen.

_“Just got here. Compound 11. Room 6. Dana and the kits are out. We have three hours. S.”_

“Stevie?”

Xabi looked up from the message and nodded, smiling briefly as he did.

“He just got in and wants to see me.”

Iker nodded, his eyes still glassy and focused inward as he thought about the conversation that he just had with Xabi.

“Go. I’ll cover for you if you’re ten minutes late. But no more. I’ve got Nando and Sergio to deal with and that is plenty.”

Xabi laughed, clapping Iker’s shoulder on his way out of their shared room.

“You’re going to make the right choice. Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine and thanks. For everything.”

“Yeah. It’s all good. Now get out of here and see your family.”

~*~**~*~*~

“I missed you, _Shabee_.”

Steve had whispered hoarsely after he had pushed Xabi against the closed door and kiss him hard and forcefully enough to take Xabi’s breath away. His brain shorted out when he felt Stevie’s lips on his, forcing him to part his own lips and deepen the kiss. Their tongues intertwined and rubbed against each other, making Stevie moan. Xabi’s own sigh of satisfaction followed right after and he nearly blew his load when Stevie’s hand snaked into the front of his track bottoms and wrapped itself around his cock.

He pulled away from the kiss with difficulty and looked at Stevie, who was looking at him with glowing amber eyes and breathing heavily.

“Not here, amor. Let’s go to bed.”

Stevie nodded and pulled his hand out of Xabi’s bottoms before he leaned in and kissed Xabi as they stumbled and laughed their way to the bed, the linen cool and crisp against their bodies, their clothes crumpled in a trail towards it.

“So shall we continue?” Stevie all but purred, making Xabi laugh quietly as he wrapped his arms around his mate and rolled them over in the bed so that Stevie was under him.

“What do you think?”

Stevie laughed, low and filthy, as Xabi lowered his head and sucked on the claiming mark. Stevie’s laugh turned into a low moan and his hips canted upward, making Xabi increase the pressure on his mark. This in turn made Stevie gasp and clutch tighter at Xabi, pressing their bodies flush against each other, leaving almost no room for Xabi to get his hand in between them and give Stevie the friction he was craving before slipping his fingers behind his balls and into the folds of his opening, rubbing it and stretching it until it was dripping wet and Stevie was writhing underneath him wantonly and lost in the throes of lust.

Xabi himself was hard and he was getting closer to letting his instincts take over and take Stevie quick, hard and fast. But he held off with effort, pulling away just a fraction to get his bearings before he positioned himself carefully and moved in. Stevie arched his back and let out a loud gasp as Xabi entered him, tightening around him and making Xabi groan as he started to thrust into him. He pressed his arms against the bed, trapping Steve’s head between his hands as he moved, savouring the sounds that Steve made once they both reached their climax.

They were loud and unrestrained and Xabi savoured them as much as he savoured the taste of his mouth and the slight salt tang accompanying his usual half of the Christmas scent. Xabi moved off of Stevie carefully and laid down beside him, jostling him slightly to wrap his arm around his mate and pulling him closer.

They lay in silence for awhile, neither of them willing to talk and instead, choosing to enjoy the afterglow and each other’s company. They would speak, but it was mostly quiet murmurs traded between soft kisses before Stevie finally sat up and looked at his phone.

“What time do you have to go back to your room?”

Xabi sat up and swore when he looked over Stevie’s shoulder at the time. He had to hurry or else he would be too late for the curfew and despite having Iker’s goodwill, he wasn’t sure that he should push it on the first night and when they had a game looming two days from then.

Stevie sighed, but didn’t say anything as he watched Xabi give himself a quick wash and get dressed before he gave Stevie a quick kiss followed by mumbled endearment and rushed off.

That was what they had at the moment and he wouldn’t focus on being angry and sad at the loss. They had decided they needed the distance to think about their relationship without the home pressures and the kits clouding their judgement. He had to grudgingly admit that they needed the time apart after the marathon six months that they had tried to make things work between them that had ended up making them almost exhausted with each other.

Stevie rubbed his eyes as he moved to the shower and turned on the water. He figured that was how they ended up with Alazne after Xabi’s departure after the Champions League win. They had been so starved for each other that it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he got the tests results back showing he was carrying his second kit not long after weaning Jonny completely.

And now, nearly a year apart had made it different. It wasn’t just physical (tonight had been the exception, since he was warned off sex until Alazne was a month or so along) between them any longer. The more Xabi came to visit and see the kits, the more that they grabbed quiet moments to get to know each other, the more that Stevie felt it wasn’t going to go on forever, this separation that they had decided on.

He wouldn’t bring it up, he decided early on. But he wouldn’t close his eyes to it either. The connection hadn’t crumbled as he had confessed fearfully to Nando and Carra after Xabi had been loaned out. It had thinned at times. It had frayed. But it still held. Even pulsed with new strength in the last little while now that Alazne had arrived.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he also couldn’t help but to feel a small bit of it after spending another sweet, yet brief amount of time together. It was almost as good, or even better than it had been at the beginning. None of the career pressures, or kits, or even their own expectations clouded their time together and Stevie began to think that maybe being together again could be a possibility.

But not just yet.

~*~*~*~*~

“So you’re going to ignore him this morning or are you actually going to tell him how you feel about him and the plans you have?” Xabi whispered to Iker as they grabbed their breakfast from the buffet table and went towards the table that Xabi had scouted out before they got their food.

Iker blanched before recalling last night’s resolution to get mated to Cesc as quickly as they could. He swallowed and set his mouth in a thin line that Xabi recognized as his battle face, making him smile inwardly at how predictably mulish Iker could be.

Iker opened his mouth to give Xabi a reply when he was stopped by a waiter pouring out juice for them and by the Omega in question making his way towards them. Cesc held his head held up high in defiance despite his shoulders being hunched only slightly. His sleeves were sloppily pushed back and Xabi noticed that his wrists, although thin and slightly pink, were bare. It was this and the nervous lip biting that ruined the picture of bravado he was so desperately trying to portray. The fact that he was wearing a too large training jacket and held his plate with both hands also added to the illusion of a scared child trying to hide his fears and failing.

He could see Nando and Sergio deep in discussion and heading towards a nearby table. They gave Xabi a nod of acknowledgement before they sat down, their conversation still not done as they found their places and started to eat. Sergio noticed Cesc coming closer and Iker’s intense gaze and held up his hand to signal he needed five minutes more. Xabi nodded and turned his attention to Cesc and Iker, who looked like they would both fuck it up if he didn’t speak up.

“Cesc! You coming to sit with us today?” Xabi asked, trying to be polite and diplomatic, since Iker seemed more intent on inhaling the glass of juice that had just been poured for him.

Cesc lit up and slid into the empty seat next to Iker, making him put his glass down before he choked. He then took a look at the little Omega with an expression that tried to be stern, but turned warm at the sight of Cesc right beside him. He even reached out and grasped Cesc’s hand and gave it a light squeeze, giving into his emotions before recalling where they were and pulling away with an apologetic smile at Cesc. He then cleared his throat and spoke.

“Cesc...If you’re sure...I want to have you as my mate. The sooner the better. We’ve waited too long already. So...Would you do me honour of being my mate?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevie-He travels along with the team, but it's more of a support role than an actual active role, since he just gave birth to the second kit not even a month before and is not in any shape to be playing at all. Needless to say, England isn't happy with Xabi at this point in time. 
> 
> Xabi-I just have realized that he's been the go-to guy regarding relationships and feelings in this verse. He's also very realistic about where he and Stevie went wrong and why they had to split up. He knows too, it's not forever, but they need their time apart. Having gone through all of this, he gets to have a special insight in being the Alpha and the situations he sees others in. 
> 
> There will be another two chapters in this story, since I want to tie up the rest of the get togethers that are happening simulatenously here and a chapter for Xabi and Stevie themselves to have their coda. 
> 
> Thank you all for being patient and still reading. Much appreciated.


	11. I wanted you to know that when you are around, I can't speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iker and Cesc's bonding has made Nando look at his own life and loves and start to make a decision in regards to them. Xabi and Stevie are renewing their ties and mending the distance between them. But they have to put everything on hold until the end of the World Cup.

Xabi and Stevie stood a bit apart from Iker and Cesc in the foyer of the Quaker meeting hall, letting them have a bit of a quiet time together before they had to go. Sergio and Nando had disappeared right after the ceremony, slipping away with just a few more words of congratulations before the media scrum forced them apart again. No one mentioned it, since they knew that Nando had limited time with Sergio and there was a sort of brittleness about them that no one wanted to break. So they went, with everyone’s blessing, while Iker tied up loose ends and Xabi savoured the time he had with Stevie, who had a free day from the team and from the kits.

“So we have until when?” Stevie murmured as he wrapped his arms around Xabi’s neck and pulled him close for a kiss. He kept it chaste in deference to the meeting hall, but it was still soft and tender enough to send tingles down Xabi’s spine.

“Until five. We’re not up for the media scrum until then. After losing to the Swiss, I’m not looking forward to it.”

Stevie grimaced in sympathy as he moved closer to Xabi, who backed up until his back was against the wall. Xabi gave a soft exclamation of surprise when his back hit the wall and part his legs to let Stevie accommodate himself between them so that their chests were flush against each other. He was careful to not outright slam Stevie against him, since he was still nursing and sore with it. He was glad that Stevie wasn’t pulling away or was self-conscious about the softness of his body as he had been the first time he had given birth to Jonny.

“I know how that is. England, remember?” Stevie asked while Xabi laughed quietly.

“I know. I know.”

Xabi replied, smirking in between kisses as he enjoyed just being with Stevie again. He wanted this to last. This sweet easiness that felt warm and good and just plain right and what he firmly believed a mating should be like. Not the horrific chaos and suppressed anger and despair that they had with Johnny. He wants this. He wants Stevie beside him and he doesn’t want to ever leave his side again.

Already, his mind was calculating and weighing odds, numbers and contract lengths. His loan was open ended. He and the club hadn’t parted on bad terms. They had been as courteous as possible, since it was understood to be a family and delicate matter. He didn’t see them giving him as much grief as if he had just upped and left the club in a fit of pride and the search for a bigger paycheque and less challenging pastures. He couldn’t do anything at the moment, but he was damned sure he would start that ball rolling once the World Cup was out of the way. In the meantime, he was just going to focus on being with Stevie and the kits and making his homeland get as far as possible in the tournament.

“Oh! You guys stuck around? You didn’t have to, you know.” Iker’s voice broke up Xabi’s thoughts. Stevie moved as if to take a step back away from his mate, but Xabi held him in place, turning his head to look at Iker and Cesc as they came up to them. Iker noticed and gave him a sidelong look that Xabi was sure signalled a conversation was going to happen between them once they got back to their hotel. Stevie chirruped in surprise and Xabi nuzzled him to comfort him, not caring that they had an audience.

“Yeah, we know, but it would feel wrong leaving after a bonding. We didn’t have anyone to witness ours...So yeah.”

“Wait, really? You didn’t have to call up witnesses?” Cesc blurted out, his eyes wide as he tried to wrap his head around what Xabi had just said.

Stevie laughed, but there was a slight edge of steel in it that could have been easily missed if the listener wasn’t looking for it. But Xabi noticed. And to an extent,so did Cesc, who frowned and looked at Iker, who was waiting for Stevie to explain.

“We don’t. It’s between and Omega and Alpha, the actual mating. It’s all been written down. No one else has to be involved as per English law. I mean, yeah, we have to breed at a certain age and if we’re not mated we can choose to have a kit by a state Alpha. We may be Omegas, but we’re not children. We have enough room to make our decisions without needing an Alpha or a so-called guardian to do it for us.”

Iker snorted and pulled Cesc closer. “I wish that Spain would get the memo that Omegas can do just that. It would save so many of them grief.”

At that, he placed a quick peck on Cesc’s forehead, making his Omega purr in pleasure before he turned back to Xabi and Stevie.

“Thank you again for being witnesses. We know that you don’t have that much to yourselves, so thank you. Xabi, we’ll see you shortly, Stevie, a pleasure. Take care.”

Cesc chirruped before he swallowed the noise and smiled gratefully at Xabi and Stevie.

“My thanks also. I can’t even begin to express how much this means to me. What this means to me.”

Cesc’s eyes fluttered and he coloured a dark red. He chirruped and swallowed before he took a deep breath and spoke again.

“I’m not going to be someone’s broodmare. I’m going to be someone’s mate. So thank you.”

Cesc effusive thanks was tempered by Iker coming up next to him and taking his hand, twining their fingers together tightly as he did.

“Take care of him, then.” Stevie told them, making Iker and Cesc nod in agreement before they took their leave.

Stevie and Xabi stayed there for awhile, absorbing the gravity of their last conversation with Cesc and Iker. Although it had felt like a simple matter, for Cesc it had literally meant the difference between freedom, love and respect versus being locked away and treated like nothing more than an animal. It also brought it home to Stevie that despite the years of loneliness and the possibility of having a state Alpha be the sire to his pups, he had never faced that loss of freedom. Nor had he ever felt that Xabi had treated him any less than an equal partner no matter what the situation.

“So...Any place specific that you have in mind?” Xabi asked, making Stevie shake his head to clear it.

“Somewhere we can be together and not be bothered.” Stevie replied.

Xabi smirked. “I can arrange that.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Hey Nando! Just wanted to say good morning and hope you’re having a great day! Don’t worry about the Swiss! It’s just one game! Nora says hi! Love you!”

Fernando waited for the prompt and erased the message, swiping his thumb viciously across the screen and shutting it off. He rested the phone against his forehead and looked at the closed bathroom door. Sergio was in there and he would be a while, showering to hide their mingled scents after they had spent the entire night in what felt like a small-heat. Although Sergio was sure that it wasn’t the case, Fernando’s Alpha instincts had been going haywire and he had taken Sergio over and over again until they had only just enough sleep to witness Iker and Cesc’s surprise, but long overdue bonding. Now that they were back at the hotel, they had to fulfil their media scrum obligations and then…

Fernando closed his eyes and tried to will the guilt that was welling up at having heard his wife’s message. He knew that it was over between them. He couldn’t stop lying to himself to Sergio, Ollala, and the world any longer. Sergio was the only person that should be his mate, rather than being the open secret and object of either scorn or pity from the rest of the team. He knew it and felt it when he was standing next to Xabi and Iker, watching as Iker fumbled with the strip of cloth and stuttered slightly over the words, but still said them.

And meant them.

None of them could deny the amount of feeling that Iker put into those words. It was obvious that no matter what other Alpha Cesc was promised to would live up to what Iker felt for him. It was the same with Cesc when he received the offering. It was painfully obvious they loved each other and it was the right step to take for them to be bonded. They were complete.

Just like Stevie and Xabi. Despite their difficulties and Xabi’s departure, he could see that they were very much in love. And even though it was a difficult situation between them because of Jonny and Xabi’s departure, they were still very much in love. The way he had seen Xabi look at Stevie, standing directly across from Nando had made him avert his eyes. Not in shame, but to give them some sort of privacy. He felt as if he wasn’t supposed to see the depth of emotion that shone in Xabi’s eyes towards his mate. A look that was returned by the object of his affection.

He knew that it was there in his eyes when he looked at Sergio. He was all too aware that Stevie had caught it and had given him one of his level looks when Fernando’s eyes had chanced towards Sergio in the ceremony. He was also painfully aware that Stevie would probably pursue the conversation about his relationship with Sergio. He sighed at the memory, but didn’t shy from it. He knew Iker was only momentarily distracted by his own happiness and the pressure he was under to captain the team to a final berth, if not the final itself.

But once the pressure was lifted, he knew damned well that Iker would start up on him again. With due reason. He understood it now, after standing on the sidelines and watching the painful fall out of two almas apart, that he couldn’t do it to Sergio any longer. He had to make a decision and actually act like the Alpha he was reputed to be.

“We meet downstairs in twenty. Make sure you both aren’t a hot mess. Iker’s words. Not mine. Xabi.”

He typed off a quick reply in the affirmative that was going to happen and got off the bed to knock on the door and give Sergio the news. He had just rapped on the door when Sergio appeared, smelling of the neutralizing soap and shampoo that they were obliged to carry to mask their scent. The Alpha in Nando wanted to reach out and grab Sergio to properly scent him, but he restrained it with long practice and only showed Sergio the text before sliding into the bathroom for his own shower.

“He would.”

Sergio muttered, making Nando give out a sharp bark of laughter before stepping into the shower stall. He was thankful that he hadn’t gotten dressed after their last interlude and scrubbed himself down fast. The last thing that he needed was to piss off the Captain any more than he already had in the past.

And probably would until he had manned up enough to finally take the last step and make Sergio his official mate.

But right now, the World Cup was one of the hardest obstacles he had to get through.

Making sure that Xabi and Stevie stayed together was another.

And not being killed Iker.

Scratch that. Not being killed by Iker was definitely the hardest.

~*~*~*~*~*

“I didn’t expect to see you here still.” Xabi commented when he opened the door to see a red-eyed Stevie standing there in his England training gear.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t about to leave when you’re still on a good run.” Stevie replied lightly as he stepped into Xabi’s room. Although his tone was striving to be nonchalant, there was still an acrid tang of disappointment that Xabi could taste at the back of his throat, making him wince and his over-protective instincts come forward.

Xabi only smiled ruefully as he closed the door behind his mate. He had seen the game. Stevie was right. It should have been England’s game. They had called it wrong and thus cheated England again of another chance at glory. A chance that Stevie might not ever get a chance to have again.

So Xabi waited for Stevie to get his thoughts in order before he could offer a shoulder to comfort him in what he knew was a crushing blow.

He didn’t have to wait long for Stevie to chirrup and come closer to him, the scent almost overpowering in his closeness. But he still pulled him close and embraced him tightly, rubbing slow circles into his back to soothe him and possibly ease the sting of the loss.

“We had that game. We had it.” Stevie whispered, clinging to Xabi as his Alpha led him towards the bed and sank down on it.

“Come here, love.” Xabi murmured as he embraced his Omega and scented him, trying to erase the scent of sadness and dismay. He didn’t give him any platitudes. He didn’t dare. He had been there before. He wasn’t going to cheapen what Stevie was feeling at that moment.

Instead, he held his Omega until the acrid scent dissipated and he was purring instead of chirruping and his body was lax and pliant in Xabi’s embrace.

They stayed that way until the next morning, when Iker entered and told them they had an hour before the game started.

~*~*~*~*~

“He’s not coming back right away? Is that what you’re telling me, Nando?” Carra asked as he spooned oatmeal into his mouth as he leant back against the counter in his kitchen while Skyping with his teammate.

“Yeah. Iker’s more or less breaking his own rules and sneaking out with Cesc to give them space. The nanny’s got the kits whenever they aren’t together. It’s looking like they’re going to get back together.”

Carra nodded and made a small humming noise of agreement as he swallowed down his oatmeal.

“Soon, you think?”

Nando shrugged. “I wouldn’t go laying any bets, but maybe in the next year or so? You have to admit that them being apart actually has done them more good than harm, despite it not looking like it when they announced that they would be on a break.”

Nando pointed out as he sat back in bed, sneaking a glance at the clock. He had a bit of time to spare yet. But he was going to have to end the call sooner, rather than later.

Carra nodded and dug into his oatmeal again.

“Gotcha. And you? You’re doing allright with Sergio there but not the missus?”

Nando gave a strangled scream at the question, making Carra nearly choke on his breakfast.

“That good?”

“I’ll let you know after the Final.”

“Sounds goo-Keep me posted, I just noticed the time. I gotta run. Don’t do anything stupid.”

He disconnected the call, leaving Nando looking at himself in the video box in the corner.

“Too late for that, I think.”

He sighed heavily and shut down Skype.

This was not the time.

There was a World Cup to win.


	12. Coda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on, mates find each other and finally, Xabi comes home to stay.

“Wow. So this is it, huh? Top of the world.” Stevie commented as he hefted the medal that had just hung around Xabi’s neck not even four hours ago. It was heavier than he expected and it wasn't as bright as it looked when Xabi had come back from the celebrations. Alazne and Jonny were with them, as per Iker and Del Bosque’s insistence. Both of them were asleep in the large cot, Alazne in her bassinet as an added precaution

“Their father just won the World Cup. Of course they should be here.” Del Bosque, slightly worse for the wear, had explained as Stevie and Dana had settled the kits in the room before Xabi was again pulled out to be on the field. Stevie had smiled at that and hadn’t minded that Xabi had to be out there. He couldn’t begrudge his Xabi his time in the spotlight. They had all earned it being out there. He had watched the game from a private box with the other spouses, his kits far too young to be out there in the crowd. Alazne had fallen asleep for most of the game after she had nursed. Jonny lasted until the half, when he too gave up the ghost and left Stevie clutching his kitten and walking off his nerves.

Nerves that were even more frayed when DeJong had kicked Xabi in the chest. He had, for the first time in his life, growled at seeing his Alpha be attacked on the field. He would have gone down there if it hadn’t been for Alazne in his arms. Although the instincts to protect his Alpha were nigh on high, his first responsibility was always to the kits that were in his care.

So he stayed put and anxiously paced until his arms ached due to being in the same position from carrying his kitten. With only with a few minutes to spare that he put her down in time to see Iniesta score and give the Spanish the game. He sank down on the chair next to her bassinet and covered his mouth with his hands. They had won it in the end.

He had gone to the hotel room after he had watched Iker raise the cup and shout out to the heavens, the confetti showering down upon him and the rest of the team being the last memory as he had been taken out to the waiting car. He didn’t mind, despite the painful ache of not knowing if his team would ever get a chance to win the cup for themselves ever again. He hadn’t let himself dwell on that. He couldn’t, really. Not when Jonny woke up wanting his dam to cuddle him and then Alazne had started to squirm and whimper for both attention and food.

That was how Xabi found them later, when he was trying to quietly enter the room despite having had a few and Pepe Reina being right behind him and being as loud as humanly possible. Steve heard a few more voices joining into the chorus of whatever song that Reina was trying to sing only to be thankfully shut down by Iker screaming in a hoarse whisper down the hall and the singing abruptly ending before Xabi closed the door behind him and sort of fell against it once it was closed.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Xabi whispered hoarsely in a voice that Stevie knew his mate thought was quiet. Luckily, he wasn’t that loud that he startled the kits, but he did make them look over as he ambled over to the bed, spreading gold confetti as he walked. He still had his jersey on, sweat stained and the medal swinging around his neck as he lay down carefully next to Jonny and Alazne and reached out to his kits.

Jonny smiled and reached out to the gold medal, making Stevie smile as Xabi took it off his neck and gave it to his kit, who promptly put it in his mouth.

“Jonny! Xabi! Take it out of his mouth! Lord knows where it’s been! Xabi! Stop laughing!”

Stevie admonished his Alpha, who was snickering quietly to himself as his kit chewed on the medal that he substituted with a piece of banana that Stevie had already cut up for him. As he watched Jonny eat, Xabi made to palm the medal, but was stopped by Stevie, who was sitting propped up with pillows against the headboard with Alazne nursing from him.

“Let’s have a look, yeah?”

Xabi swallowed hard, his throat dry as he handed it over and watched Stevie as he hefted it with one hand and squinted at the design embossed on it.

“Top of the world, huh? Wow.”

Xabi’s chest unclenched in relief at the level calmness in Stevie’s tone. He was worried that it would seem as if he was rubbing it in that his team had made it. Whereas he had inadvertently taken Stevie out of the running by not noticing the condom breaking until the next morning when he was heading to the bathroom. He felt a low level guilt about that after it had been confirmed and even though Stevie didn’t blame him, Xabi always wondered in the back of his mind if it would eventually come back to haunt him and create even more friction between them.

“It’s grand. It really is. I’m happy you got it instead of those other wankers.”

Xabi blinked before he burst out laughing at the matter of factness in his mate’s voice before he crawled over and gave him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth, lingering when Stevie’s lips parted in welcome.

Xabi obliged him, deepening the kiss and tasting the sweetness of the tea and cream that Stevie must have drunk earlier. He pulled back when Alazne gave a small whimper at being caught between them.

He too, winced when he pulled away. Although the kick had been brutal and he had a nice bruise on his chest because of it, he had completely forgotten it until he had put pressure on it.  He looked up and found Stevie swallowing, a small chirp erupting that he covered up by addressing Alazne.

“Sorry, love. Your sire is just a bit excited. Also, your sire should get himself into the bath if he’s keen on anything else happening tonight.”

He paused and held Xabi’s gaze, worry turning his eyes a dark amber that Xabi needed to clear up so that they would be their usual soft brown again.

“That’s if he’s not too-”

Xabi smiled and shook his head, reaching out and taking Stevie’s hand and pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

“I’m fine for all that you’ve got planned, love. A man would call me insane to give up a night making love to you, mi amor.”

He knew his eyes had gone gold by the way that Stevie flushed a dark red and coughed to hide the head that was flooding into his body.

“Get in the shower and give me ten minutes. You’ll find out then what I have planned for you.”

Steve purred, his voice raspy and low and promising so much in that simple sentence.

Xabi didn’t need to be told twice to move.

Especially not after hearing Stevie’s purr.

~*~*~*~*~

Xabi had just woken up from a strange dream filled with disturbing images that he simply couldn’t recall when a host of furious knocking completely pushed him out of dreamland and into the present. He stumbled out of his bedroom, bleary eyed and uncoordinated, to his front door and was surprised to see a dishevelled looking Iker standing there, a small carry-on suitcase in his hand.

There would be only one reason why Iker was skipping out of town on the eve of a game.

Xabi swallowed hard and stepped aside to let him.

“Is it Cesc?”

Iker nodded, his eyes gold and red-rimmed.

“Geri just called. He collapsed at practice just a few minutes ago and is in the hospital. I know. I do know that this is NOT what-”

“Iker. Iker. Just go. It’s fine. Cesc needs you.”

Iker nodded, taking a sobbing breath in relief as he wiped his nose and tried to breathe normally. It took him a couple of times, but at the end, he was calm and in some semblance of control.

“Good. Allright. Allright. I’ll call management and let the rest of the team know. We can handle it. Sese’s good and Mesut and lord knows that our second goalie can use the experience, what with you being the wonder that you are.”

Iker smiled faintly at that, giving Xabi a bit of relief at seeing that Iker had caught on with the gesture.

“Thanks. You are a good Alpha, Xabi.Don’t let anyone else let you think otherwise.”

He chewed on his lip for a bit before he looked at Xabi straight in the eye.

“Thank you. Stevie’s lucky to have you.”

Iker walked off abruptly, leaving Xabi blinking as he watched Iker disappear down the hall.

He watched until he heard the elevator doors open and close and then stepped into his own flat. Walking around in the living room, he went to the kitchen and started the kettle for some tea. He pulled out a mug and set it on the counter, spotting his phone lying there.

He picked it up and was pleased to see the notification of a message. Swiping it, he grinned when he opened it up to reveal a picture of Stevie and the kits all asleep on the couch under a blanket that Stevie’s Aunt Mary had knitted them..

_“Figured you might want to see this. Nando.”_

He saved it and sent off a thanks to Nando for the pic and a message to Stevie.

 _“I love you. I miss you._ ”

The kettle was boiling, so he put his phone down and made his tea, returning to it when it chirped at him.

 _“Same here. See you soon, luv._ ”

~*~*~*~*~

“So it’s all set then, Dana?”

Stevie asked his nanny as he entered the flat quietly and put his kit bag on the low bench next to the door. He hung his keys and looked at his nanny, Dana for confirmation.

She nodded, her dark brown hair bobbing merrily from the messy bun she tended to wear it in. Her dark green eyes were only slightly hidden behind rectangle framed glasses that complimented her understated cardigan, flats and jeans combo.

“Yep, Mr. G. Jonny’s just been tucked in and read his bedtime story and Alazne’s been sleeping for half an hour. She had her bottle two hours ago as well. Laundry’s hung up and the bathrooms have been done.”

Stevie breathed a sigh of relief at hearing her rattle the list off. Although he had felt ridiculous when his Aunt Mary had suggested hiring Dana, he had to grudgingly admit that it had been one of the best decisions that he had made in a long while. Dana had been a godsend in keeping the kits clean and well fed while he was back in training and on the field again. Combined with a cleaning service that came in twice in a week, he could concentrate on getting back in prime mode and having time with Xabi whenever their schedules permitted.

Although it felt a bit middle class to him, at times like this, when he was coming off the pitch sweaty and exhausted, having everything done reminded him of how much help Dana really was. He would have probably cracked even worse than before if he had to do all of that on top of his training schedule.

“Thank you so much. So see you on Monday then?”

Dana nodded and picked up her purse and jacket and slung them over her shoulder while slipping her shoes on. She was about to exit when she popped her head back into the flat.

“Oh! Before I forget. Mr. Torres wants you to call him as soon as you can. He says it’s important.”

Stevie frowned, but thanked Dana politely and saw her on her way. He had to wonder why Nando was so adamant that he call back. Give or take an hour, they had just spent practice together. He couldn’t quite fathom what, if anything, had occurred in the time that they had exchanged farewells and gone to their respective homes. As far as he knew, Nora was only a little bit sick and Ollala was holding down the fort.

Unless something had happened to Sergio.

Stevie pulled his phone out of his pocket and rang up Nando. Although the language barrier had prevented them from exchanging more than a few greetings, Stevie had liked the other Omega and had done his best to not judge Nando over the situation. Especially since he was damned well aware that he didn’t know the entire story between those two and was much too British to poke around and find out.

He hated that people felt it was quite appropriate to poke their noses into his relationship and give him unsolicited advice, so he wasn’t about to do the same to Nando. Especially not when Nando had stuck by him and Xabi when things had been at their worst. He had appreciated that Nando hadn’t backed off when Xabi had blown him off or when Stevie hadn’t been able to find the way out of his own depression and had always indicated a willingness to wait for them and to stand by them. Considering how others had left them high and dry, this was a gesture that Stevie wasn’t going to forget anytime soon.

So he hadn’t probed, despite being utterly curious about the dynamics he had only glimpsed five months ago.

He didn’t have much time to wait for an answer. Nando must have been holding the phone in his hand when the call came in.

“Stevie? Oh good. Dana gave you my message. Listen, I’m going to be in Spain for awhile.”

Stevie frowned to himself and started to panic just a bit after hearing Nando’s words.

“May I ask why? Is it Sergio? Is something-”

“What? No! Nothing’s wrong. It’s just we’re...We’re mating and he’s breeding. I need to stay here for awhile and I wanted you to be one of the first to know.”

Stevie’s hands went cold at the words and he nearly dropped the phone. Nando? Mated?

“Wait. Wait a sec, lad. What about Ollala? And Nora?”

Nando exhaled deeply before replying, making Stevie feel a stab of pity at Ollala and Nora. It was a risk that most Betas took, marrying an Alpha or an Omega. Most times, it worked out well, what with true-mates not being as common as wished or depicted. But if a truemate or an unusually compatible Alpha or Omega came into the picture, the marriage usually didn’t last that long afterwards.

“I’ve divorced her. We’re in the middle of legalities at the moment, custody and alimony are being discussed.”

He inhaled sharply, a soft and pained sound that had more than the trace of tears within it. He was silent for a few seconds. Stevie could hear him taking several deep gulping breaths to calm down and continue.

“I hurt her and I’m going to have to deal with that. Just like how I’m going to have to deal with hurting Sergio for so long. Sergio’s always been my mate. I shouldn’t have married her and tried to be what my family thought was normal. I kept him waiting too long. I’m not going to lose him or the kit. I’m not going to keep us both from having what you and the others have. I’m done.”

He laughed then, a wet kind of laugh that Stevie had never heard coming from him before then.

“I’ve talked to Rafa and my agent. They know. You’re the the first to know. Sergio wanted you to be the first to know.”

Stevie closed his eyes and pressed his fingertips down on the lids to stop the tears that were threatening to spill out. He wasn’t much of an emotional man, but the gesture touched him deeply. He swallowed hard until he was sure he wasn’t going to vocalize and thanked Nando and passed along his congratulations before hanging up.

He wiped his eyes and nose before he sent off a text with the words _“I love you_.” To Xabi before shoving his phone in his pocket and heading to the shower.

~*~*~*~*~

Xabi let himself into the flat quietly, not wanting to wake anyone up in case that they were sleeping. The gesture reminded him so much of the night during the World Cup when he was beet-red from drinks and the embarrassment of hearing Reina’s off key singing as they made it back to their prospective rooms. He had been praying and hoping that Stevie was asleep and the kits as well so that he wasn’t going to be murdered when he showed up and was relieved to see them up and expecting him to show up.

The memory was so strong in his mind that he felt slightly disappointed at entering the dim flat. Only one light was on in the living room, the floor lamp and a novel was lying on the recliner that Xabi knew was Stevie’s favourite. A few toys were scattered about and a red blanket was tucked in the corner of the sofa. The scent of cinnamon and peaches hung in the air and it made Xabi feel like he was finally home again.

This made his chest hurt slightly at the realization that he had missed all of this. Despite the need for distance between them, he hadn’t ever really felt that Spain was home again. Not without Stevie and the kits. They were that for him and it was time.

Quietly putting down his bag and coat, he kicked off his shoes and headed to the bedrooms. He went by the bathroom and was unsure whether to go to the master or the kit’s bedroom when Stevie’s voice floated over to him.

“Goodnight, love. Sleep well.”

Xabi heard him say before he turned off the lights and nearly shriek when he came face to face with Xabi standing not even a foot away from him. He gasped and covered his mouth with his hand before slapping him with his free hand.

“What the hell, Shabee? Jesus, love! Don’t do that!”

He whispered harshly, steepling his hands over his mouth to resist the urge to release the scream that was building up in his throat.

“I’m sorry. I just...I wanted it to be a surprise. I guess I did manage that and some, yeah?”

Stevie nodded, swallowing a couple of times and letting out a few chirrups before he was able to speak again.

“Yeah. That you did. I mean...I’m glad you’re here. Believe me. I’m just wondering _why_ you are here. Did something-”

Xabi shook his head and stepped back just a bit to pull out the folded sheaf of heavy stock paper and put it in Stevie’s hands.

Stevie licked his lips nervously, but Xabi gestured for him to unfold the paperwork and read it.

He unfolded the first page and his heart sped up when he saw the familiar lIverbird letterhead at the top. Looking down, he skipped past the first couple of paragraphs and focused on the name handwritten in the blank.

“Xabier Alonso Olano”

His head felt as if it was swimming and the name got blurry and there was a familiar wetness sliding down his cheek before he looked up at Xabi’s smiling face.

“You’re coming home?”

Xabi stepped closer to Stevie and covered his hands with his.

“You’re my mate, Stevie. You and my kits are my home. Always have been even if we needed time apart to solidly build it. We’ve changed. We’ve faced our demons. We’ve helped the others with their own demons and it has shown me that despite everything, I belong with you and you belong with me. We are a family, Stevie. So I’m home and I promise: I won’t ever leave my home again.”

Stevie nodded, laughing wetly as he leaned in to kiss Xabi, the saltiness of the tears only adding to the christmas scent that had sprung up around them.

“Welcome home, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this arc has come to the end. I couldn't finish it without a happy ending for these two and a bit of wish fulfilment with Xabi being back at Anfield again. I wanted it to end somewhere in the timeline set in "Remember the best times to come" and the other stories that are loose companions to this one: "In Your Eyes There Was An Honesty, No Lies, But You Weren't Free" And "When Crimes Are Passionate, Can Love Be Separate?". 
> 
> I wanted for the arc to come to fruition that despite them being estranged, they could learn and rebuild and keep on going to have that happy ending. I guess this was one of the more realistic soulbond stories in that sense that not everything is roses between two people despite finding each other.

**Author's Note:**

> England-Omegas have the freedom to actually use state Alphas to have children. For them, it is more important that they have kids rather than mates like Spain. There is a bit of stigma attached to having the state kits, but it is not a big deal. Only the older families have that bit of snobbery to them. 
> 
> Basques- Here they are bit more clannish and although they follow Spanish customs regarding matings and bonds, they are a bit looser in some of them.
> 
> More notes will come as the story progresses.
> 
> Title comes from "If I Had A Heart" By Fever Ray.
> 
> Proofed and Edited, but if there are mistakes, they will be fixed.


End file.
